There are ten characteristics of relationship dependence disorder:
1. Fall into a forced mode.
People with relationship dependence will at least be driven by an irresistible compulsive behavior, which may be the source of motivation. In your life, you are forced to get something you want, or a certain habit or repetitive pattern has dominated your life, maybe you are close to relationship dependence.
2. Incomplete self-differentiation.
People with relationship dependence suffer from being tied to their original family. The various past experiences have firmly grasped their current lives, and the influence is sometimes weak and sometimes strong; some are beneficial, some may ruin their lives. If you still hear your parents’ reproach in your heart, and the frequency is very high, such as “you can’t do anything well!”, then you may be a dependent person.
3. Low self-evaluation and low maturity.
The self is fragmented, often chaotic and inconsistent, and various actions are often at two extremes. If you are constantly dissatisfied with yourself and face so-called unfair criticism, you will quickly defend yourself, plus whether you feel that you seem to have no friends, it is possible that you are a dependent person.
4. Pleasant personality.
People with relationship dependence often believe that their happiness depends on others, that they are passive and powerless.
5. Overburden others.
Have an excessive sense of responsibility to others (not children who cannot be independent). I often strongly believe that I should be responsible for everyone’s happiness, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and have an excessive sense of responsibility to others.
6. Imbalance between dependence and independence.
When dealing with the relationship between dependence and independence, people with relationship dependence are unstable and lack of balance. This treatment method greatly destroys the relationship between them and their partners or relatives and friends. A normal and healthy relationship is to support each other. People are born with the need to establish a normal interpersonal relationship.
Healthy people who can support each other, on the one hand, can fully trust others and open their minds to others; although they are easily injured by this, on the other hand, because they have a complete self-image, they do not need help from others and can recover themselves after being injured. .
7. Good at denying and suppressing.
Relationship dependence disorder originates from the first generation of problem families, but they will sincerely justify the original family. If a person with a relationship dependence disorder recalls some details of his childhood life, it is usually fragmented or irrelevant, or has been beautified and modified by them.
They look at things not objectively, ignore the deterioration of the situation, and pretend that nothing happened even in the worst case.
8. Worry about things that cannot be changed.
They try to control people, things, and things beyond their control, so they always feel frustrated. They often have the expectation of failure, and subconsciously believe that they are a failure. When they look to the future, they only see disappointment and frustration; if misfortune is confirmed, they will only deepen their sense of inferiority.
9. Life is very extreme.
The lack of self-affirmation is another reason for their polarized performance in life and attitude.
10. Can’t give up.
The desire to constantly find what is missing or missing in life.
In summary, people with relationship dependence symptoms regard “control” or “out of control” as the whole focus of their lives. He will be too fettered by another person, so that his self and personal value will be severely restrained, and may even completely obliterate himself because of the personality and problems of others.