October 22, 2020

Psychologist teaches you how to be beautiful

Is this a face-seeing world? I saw a short film from Japan a while ago, and I was quite impressed.

In the short film, an ordinary-looking girl borrows money from Japanese men randomly on the street “with the reason of losing her wallet and mobile phone.”

The first man, when he heard the girl talk about losing her wallet and mobile phone, the first response was “I didn’t see it, you can go to the police.” Although he listened to the girl patiently, he felt eager to send the girl away. Go away.

Later, the girl explained that she had called the police, but she was still short of money to go home and asked him to borrow money. His response was: “I don’t have any money now. I’m so sorry that I can’t help you.”

The girl continued to borrow money from three other men, all refused with the perfunctory reason “I didn’t bring money”, and left quickly.

Then, the high energy moment arrived,

The girl spent 1,200 yen (approximately RMB 79.48), put on exquisite makeup and styling. Let’s feel the before and after comparison:

Then, the girl restarted the journey of borrowing money.

The first man not only borrowed money, but also gave the girl a business card.

After that, most of the men the girl met borrowed money and were very patient and friendly.

In the end, the girl borrowed a total of 15,800 yuan (about 1050 yuan).

The video ends with “Japanese men are very enthusiastic and only treat beautiful women. The only way to survive in this unequal society is a cosmetic surgery clinic.”

Yes, this is just an advertisement.

Although the authenticity of the video content needs to be examined, I think everyone is deeply touched by this situation.

If it was you, on the street, borrowed by someone alone, would you dare to say that you are really not affected by your appearance?

-01- How important is appearance?
The girl still remembers that when she graduated from high school, her best friend confessed to the boy who had been secretly in love for three years. After he tactfully refused, the young I asked the boy: “Then what kind of girl do you like?” —— ” beautiful.”

At that time, I spit in my heart, this person is too superficial!

Later, it was discovered in the literature that human beings do have a stereotype of “good-looking people are good at everything (beauty is good)”. [1]

As long as there is a chance, everyone wants to find a good-looking partner.

Columbian psychologist Lee and others analyzed the membership data of the popular dating site HOTorNOT in the United States. [2]

The first group is the “dating request” data, that is, the individual’s willingness to date another person after viewing their photos and profiles;

The second group is “attractive rating” data, that is, the attractiveness rating scores of the individual and the opponent.

The results found that every time the attractiveness score of the other party increases by one level, the probability of an individual agreeing to a dating request increases by about 130%; when expressing the degree of willingness to date, facial attractiveness has a greater impact on men than women, but it is affected by its own Face attraction has less influence.

In other words, a beautiful face increases the intention of others to date with them, and the more beautiful a person is, the easier it is to start a new relationship;

And men are like frog princes, who tend not to consider their own beauty, and are more willing to date beautiful women.

Good looks are not only popular in love, but also in the workplace. Relevant studies have also confirmed that resumes with better-looking photos are easily screened out by hr. The salary of high-profile people is 5% to 10% higher than that of ordinary people. These extra salaries are also called “beauty allowance”. [3~4]

Going back to the scene at the beginning, our trust in strangers will also be affected by our appearance.

For the requests of beautiful strangers, we will listen to their experiences more patiently and actively help them; while ordinary people or people with lower appearance will immediately feel that “he is cheating money”.

I often hear some friends laugh at themselves and say: “I am just a face control, am I very superficial?”

Once a girl I thought Yan control was very superficial, but now, I want to say:

You don’t have to feel ashamed, because psychological research shows that there is a positive correlation between the trust a person gives to others and facial attractiveness, which means that the higher the appearance, the easier it is for us to trust them. [5]

This sounded too cruel, and the girl was scared to look in the mirror. Is it that those of us with ordinary looks are destined to be unable to turn over?

By searching a lot of literature, I tried to find the answer to the question.

Fortunately, psychologists tell us that beauty is not all inherently destined. If you understand this psychological knowledge, you can miraculously become beautiful!

-02- The appearance is average, so how to become beautiful in the day after tomorrow?
When it comes to beauty, what do you think of?

Is it facial features, looks, figure, or something else?

Psychologists have indeed found that humans have some universal definitions of beauty, such as the symmetrization of the five senses, the higher the level of averaging, the higher the attractiveness of the face.

But sometimes we also find that some people may not have these characteristics in their facial features, but they still feel beautiful. Why?

1. You can become beautiful when you move?

Girls have been most envious of female classmates who can dance since they were young. They always feel that even if their facial features are mediocre, they will give people a sense of beauty that is called “temperament”.

Psychologists explained that when we evaluate the attractiveness of a person’s appearance, we put more emphasis on the overall impression. In addition to looks, your posture will also add points to your appearance.

Another interesting study found that when in a dynamic process, the attractiveness will be more divided. In other words, look at a person dancing or a model walking on the runway, you will feel that they are more beautiful than when they are not moving. [6]

Therefore, exercise can not only make your body better and increase your attractiveness, but during exercise, you are also a beautiful “moving” person!

2. When you laugh, it is the peak of your appearance

When you look at five different expressions of the same person, which one do you think is the most beautiful?

The results of the study found that happiness is the most beautiful, followed by neutrality, anger and fear are not good-looking, and sadness is the least attractive. [7]

From the above pictures, we can feel that emotional changes, especially sadness, have a great impact on our appearance. So, when you want to show others the most beautiful side of yourself, just laugh. When you smile, your pleasure will be communicated to others, others will be more friendly to you, and you will become more beautiful.

3. Can you become beautiful after being praised?

When Chen Hao, a heartthrob, revolved in the Nature Hall advertisement and said “You are already beautiful”, the girl was stunned, “Am I beautiful?-I don’t seem to be beautiful.” I think this is a lot of people. “I am not beautiful, not only am I not beautiful, but I may also be ugly.”

In the Japanese variety show, the same girl is very inferior because of her appearance, so she often wears a mask.

Then the program team selected a foreign teacher she likes for her, and asked the teacher to insist on changing for 50 days to praise her for her beauty.

When she first heard the praise, the girl habitually denied “This is too fake.”

But slowly, she began to take off her mask and laughed, then changed her glasses, learned makeup, and made hairstyle…

50 days later, can you recognize such a beautiful woman?

Repeated compliments every day constantly suggest that the girl “you look good”, which makes the girl change from the initial refusal of inferiority to the appearance of self-confidence.

What makes a girl beautiful is praise, not so much acceptance and confidence in her own face.

So when you start to appreciate yourself, your appearance will really improve.

4. Does the beauty of the soul really work?

In fact, whenever we are resentful for “looking at the face”, it is more because from childhood to adulthood, everyone is teaching us to cultivate our inner qualities. Appearance is not important, but kindness is important. But after growing up, “You are a good person” turned into a rather ironic sentence, and everyone seems to regard their face more importantly.

But today, the girl wants to tell everyone that this is not the case! The beauty of the soul is not only an empty slogan.

In a psychological study, the researchers selected five pairs of opposite personal qualities:

Introverted — extroverted

Difficult-easy going

Irresponsible — responsible

Irritable-calm (emotional stability)

Witless-intelligent

Randomly place these quality labels on different faces and see if people will be affected by their personal qualities when evaluating the attractiveness of faces.

It turns out that when evaluating faces of the same sex or opposite sex, quality will affect the attractiveness of the faces.

Specifically, easy-going, responsible, and talented qualities have a greater impact on appearance, while introversion and emotional stability have little effect on personal appearance evaluation. [8]

In other words, when you don’t understand a person’s inner life, you will be directly affected by your appearance.

And when you start to understand a person’s inner appearance, the outer appearance will be ignored to some extent, and inner qualities (easy-going, responsible, smart) are the ultimate deciding factors of whether you are attractive.

As in “The Big Bang Theory,” Amy said, “My brain is the sexiest.”

At this time, someone will say, then I will be responsible for the beauty of the soul, and everything on the outside will be clouds ~

Of course not ~

This research further discovered that appearance beauty and inner quality have superimposed effects. In other words, people with beautiful hearts and good looks will benefit more than ordinary people with beautiful hearts.

Dr. Xu Ye in the documentary “Chinese Doctor” is highly educated, hard-working, responsible, and good-looking. This kind of “internal and external combination” has made him very popular, and it has also prompted more people to be considerate. And understand the great profession of doctors.

So, if we have both, why not do it?

-Write at the end-
Reading this, the girl guessed that you had a high-value look and you had already quit with confidence, but friends with average look, don’t you feel a bit of comfort?

In summary, face value is really important, but face value is not only about looks. Smiling, dancing, self-appreciation, knowledgeable… all these can improve a person’s appearance.