September 27, 2022

Refuse, make you more valuable

“I really don’t know how to refuse,” I believe many people have said this before.

Faced with a friend’s or relative’s request, although I was unwilling, it was difficult to refuse because of his affection, and finally had to help.

It is not difficult to learn to refuse, the key is to understand these:


You are not that important

In most cases, when someone makes a request, he actually has two answers in his mind, but most people tend to answer in the affirmative.

Your refusal will not affect anything.

It is difficult to reject others, but in fact, it is impossible to accept a “self that is not loved by others”.

In fact, there is a two-way relationship between people. Unilateral compromise makes the other person feel comfortable, and the relationship in exchange will not last. Source: 525 Psychology Network

Sometimes, proper rejection will make you comfortable and get along more easily.


Responsible to oneself, responsible to others

Not rejecting others is just accommodating and conniving, and the result is more and more trouble.

Everyone has their own costs, such as time costs, physical costs, etc. Once they spend their energy in these troubles, then their rhythm of life will also be disrupted.

The rhythm of my own life has been disrupted. Where can I still have the energy to help others?

What’s more, people have to take care of themselves first, don’t they?

Do something to do something. This “no action” means rejection. Appropriate rejection will make you more “promising.”


Refusal makes you more precious

Why do others treat you less and less as a thing, because you are so easy to talk.

You can agree to anything as soon as others find it; you can give it as soon as others want it.

Then you become less precious.

In addition to saying YES, you should always say NO.

The value of people often comes from rejection,

We think we are trying to please others, but in fact we are giving up ourselves.