Now many parents are eager for success, and even encourage them. When the children are young, they start to compare their own children with other children, and some are even more frustrating to see that there is a gap between their own children and other children’s children. Hurry up and find various training classes, cram schools, etc. for your children. In fact, the IQ of most people is very close to 110-120. There are no dumb children, but some children develop their wisdom early and some late. And what really needs to be cultivated is the child’s emotional intelligence!
The level of emotional quotient can determine whether a child’s other abilities, including IQ, can be exerted to the greatest extent, and thus determine how great a child’s life is. Simply put, it is the success of the child = 90% EQ + 10% IQ (90% EQ here includes 99% of sweat as Edison said). Therefore, if you are a smart parent, you should not focus on your child’s test scores, but on cultivating your child’s emotional intelligence, so that in addition to taking high scores, your child also knows why and how to learn? What else to do besides learning? How to play and so on.
Emotional intelligence refers to non-intellectual factors, which is the psychological quality that people often say. If a person is withdrawn, weird, and difficult to cooperate; low self-esteem, fragile, unable to face setbacks; irritability, conceit, emotional instability, etc., these are all signs of insufficient EQ, even if his IQ is high, it is difficult to achieve Achievement, so emotional intelligence is the key to a person’s success. Although emotional intelligence has certain innate genetic factors, it is more importantly developed. So how to cultivate children’s emotional intelligence from an early age?
1. Educate children to learn how to survive
There is a story about a group of children who had a picnic in the mountains lost their way and spent a horrible night in dampness and hunger. They cried hopelessly, “People will never find us anymore,” a child cried desperately. “We will die here.” However, the 11-year-old Evere stood up, “I don’t want to die!” She said firmly, “My dad said that as long as we walk along the creek, the creek will kill us. Take to a larger river, and eventually you will meet a small town. I plan to walk along the stream, and you can follow me.” As a result, under the leadership of Evrei, they passed through triumphantly. forest. People might think that a girl like Yvre is born with talent, but in fact, talent is not born, thanks to the acquired education of her father. At present, Western countries, including Japan in East Asia, attach great importance to children’s survival education. From the time children are sensible, they are taught how to survive and stand on their own. How to protect yourself etc.
2. Cultivate endurance and self-control
Psychologists once conducted such an experiment. The kindergarten teacher gave each child a piece of candy and told them: “Now eat, only give one piece. If you can bear to eat it after an hour, you can reward one piece.” Future follow-up The results of the survey show that the success rate of children who can bear it is much higher than that of children who cannot bear it. This is called delayed effect in psychology, or delayed gratification. Many children are anticlimactic, lack the will and patience, and rarely succeed in their careers when they grow up. So how to cultivate the child’s endurance? For example, when a young child is eager to drink milk, don’t satisfy him immediately, let him cry for a while, talk to him slowly while patting his back, and then give him food, endure time Gradually lengthen, from a few seconds to a few minutes; for a child who quickly runs out of pocket money every time, parents can say: “If you can hold back not spending pocket money for a week, you can double it for you next week. Save up and buy the big things you need.” When a child encounters difficulties, parents should not help him immediately, but encourage him to persevere, endure the unpleasantness of setbacks, and soon succeed.
3. Get in touch with society more and see the world through wind and rain
Some parents rarely let their children go out, worrying about this and worrying about that. Children cry and hide when they see strangers, and tend to be sensitive and shrink back when they grow up. Some children are selfish and lack the spirit of unity, so they have very few friends. When they grow up, their interpersonal tensions will affect their talents. Therefore, when a child is sensible, he must adapt to the new environment, encourage the timid child to have more contact with others, or take the initiative to stand up and answer the questions raised by the teacher. This process is also called desensitization. If the child is not given a chance, his adaptability will not sprout naturally.
4. Cultivate curiosity and exploration spirit
However, children passively accept external stimuli, and gradually become curious about everything around them. They want to try to touch, see, and even dismantle toys. This is a manifestation of curiosity and acquisition. An important way of knowledge and skills. If the parent does not let the child move anything, it will not only make him lose the opportunity to learn, but also stifle his enthusiasm. If you want him to be interested in doing something in the future, he will not bother to move. The correct way should be that the parents are interested in the children, explain them patiently, or run them to play together.
5. Let children use their brains
A boy was unable to climb the first step of the slide because of his short legs. He begged his mother to carry him up (to be continued). His mother told him, “If you use your brain, you will have a way.” The little boy thought. Thinking: “Drag my cart there and stand on it.” “Very well, go, child.” Mother said. When the little boy did this, everything became very easy. There are some things in life, as long as we pay a little attention, we will always come up with many solutions to problems, so we must cultivate the habit of thinking diligent in children.
6. Cultivate self-confidence and the ability to withstand setbacks
A 12-year-old kid with a promising future in gymnastics came to see the head coach. The head coach didn’t ask her to perform gymnastics right away, but gave her 4 darts and asked her to project onto the target opposite the office. The little girl said timidly: “What if you miss?” The coach told her: “You should think about how to succeed, not fail.” The little girl practiced repeatedly and finally succeeded. Therefore, in life, you should tell your children that when you do anything, you must first think of success, not failure. Only those who believe in their own success can achieve success.
7. Protect children’s self-esteem
It is inevitable for children to do wrong things or bad things. Don’t always scold the children: “Why are you so disobedient!” “This one can’t move, that one can’t move”. This will hurt your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem. Don’t be afraid that your child’s mischief will cause you trouble. Instead, consider what is good for your child’s psychological growth, because the child’s mental health mainly refers to the satisfaction of their reasonable needs and desires. A good mental state shown in emotions and socialization. Parents should also restrain their simple and rude education methods. If you really don’t let your child play with something, you should divert your child’s interest in a way of distracting.
8. Give encouragement and support
The growth of a child is not all smooth sailing. There may be success or failure, and even unrealistic fantasies. Encouragement and support are even more needed when encountering difficulties and setbacks. Don’t pour cold water. Although their dreams are so strange to you, you should be happy that they have a strong imagination, which is the teacher of creation.
9. Cultivate children’s sense of respect for others, unity, friendship and cooperation
Society is a group, and it is impossible to achieve any thing by one person alone. It must rely on the power of the group. This requires learning to deal with different people and being able to learn from each other’s strengths. Parents must cultivate children’s awareness of cooperation with others, train children’s cooperative behaviors, and increase children’s cooperation ability. To do this, we must first learn to respect others and be good at uniting people with different opinions.
A good psychological quality is manifested as: young children are satisfied with themselves, are lively and happy, can adapt to the surrounding environment, have friendly and harmonious interpersonal relationships, and fully display their personal intelligence and talents. Dear parents, do your children have these qualities?