She talked about her experience in the former company. In addition to dealing with her own tasks, she also responded to various “questions for help” every day:
“Xiaoxue, help me print the document”
“Xiaoxue, help me get the takeaway”
“Xiaoxue, you can do this PPT”
“You fill in this report”
“Help me check the information”
She often wants to refuse, but every time she talks to her lips, it becomes “good”.
Soon, no matter whether it belonged to her job or not, it will eventually become hers, and she will also become the last person to leave the company every day.
Even if she was so tired that she went home and broke down and cried, “refusal” was still too difficult for her.
“I am too scared to see other people’s disappointed expressions. I hope everyone feels that I am good, and then they can treat me well.”
With her efforts, it seems to have gained everyone’s “good”.
Everyone in the company knows her, they take the initiative to greet her when they meet, invite her to eat together, go shopping…
Of course, the need for extra work is constantly flooding her.
Until one day, she was sick and took leave. After hesitating for a long time, she finally asked her colleague to change a report, but she refused without hesitation.
This had a great impact on Xiaoxue.
That day, there were many pictures flashed back in her mind, almost all of her own “0 rejection” and others’ “disrespect”:
Her opinions are often ignored, and sometimes colleagues will even interrupt her speech;
Obviously it is a work done by myself, but it is often taken by colleagues to ask for credit;
These things happen almost every day, but they are deliberately ignored by her.
And this kind of “good old man” way of doing things has not only made her suffer in the workplace, but also put her intimacy and social relations into a deadlock:
The lover feels that she has no ego, and it is particularly stressful to be together,
My friend thinks she is good to everyone on the surface, but she can’t touch her heart…
The relationship she builds through desperately to please her is not always stable for a long time.
Xiaoxue has been thinking, why is this? Why I have worked so hard, but still can’t get a really good relationship?
Until she saw a passage from a senior psychologist:
A person who lowers his posture to please others will not be respected by the other person.
The true quality of the relationship is the encounter between the true self and the true self.
This allowed her to inspire – it turned out that truth is the source of long-term stability for all love and relationships.
Destroying flattery and stepping into reality has become the direction Xiaoxue has been working hard on.
But this is a long road to change, and finding the right teacher is very important.