A few days ago, a reader complained to me about having a fight with her best friend.
I asked her why.
She said that she and this friend had a very good chat, and there were a lot of things that they liked and were of common interest.
The only problem is that this friend has a bad temper. He is very childish and often loses his temper at every turn.
This time the quarrel was just because she was late for a while, and my friend pulled her face and told her for a while. She felt that this friend didn’t cherish her. When the two of them came together, they broke up.
Actually, I don’t know what other people think, but I feel more and more that it’s really easy to interact with people who don’t seem to have such a good temper and who break out when they have a temper. Compared with those smiling tigers who hide their swords in their smiles, I think people who lose their temper are more worthy of deep friendship.
People who lose their temper will be honest
In the movie “A man named Ovi decides to die,” Ovi is one such person. He has a weird temper, dislikes the East and the West, with indestructible principles, daily routines, and a temperament to go wild at any time in the community. Going back and forth, he was secretly called “the evil neighbor from hell.”
He patrols around in the early morning every morning, the bicycle does not stop into the grid line, he will lose his temper; the garbage is not classified according to the regulations, he will lose his temper; the lawn of other people’s homes is not trimmed, he will lose his temper; he even loses his temper in the face of one. He has to lose his temper if he loses the fur of the stray cat.
But it is such a person who often loses his temper and seems to be unkind to anyone, but repeatedly delays his “suicide” plan because of helping others. Every time he was about to commit suicide, he would not end up because others asked him for help: helping to take care of the neighbor’s children, helping the pregnant woman next door to learn the car, taking in the boy who was driven out of the house because he came out… and finally got It is loved and admired by everyone.
In fact, the more tantrums are, the more honest and simple the heart is. They seem to get angry easily, but in fact they simply maintain their inner order and principles.
As Lin Yihan said: “Patience is not a virtue. Treating patience as a virtue is the way this hypocritical world maintains its distorted order, and anger is a virtue.”
Yes, whether a person is worthy of deep friendship depends on whether he is sincere enough. Every time you lose your temper, you actually show your bottom line and principles. If you associate with someone, he never confesses his principles and never defends his bottom line. Maybe it’s only suitable for general acquaintances with a smile when they meet, but they don’t. Not suitable for in-depth communication.
People who lose their temper are less sophisticated
Wilde said: For those who we are indifferent, we can always be gentle.
Whether it’s for friends, colleagues, or family members, if you don’t lose your temper, it’s actually very simple, so sophisticated and indifferent.
A friend told me before that she broke up with her “perfect boyfriend”. Her boyfriend looks perfect. She always clings to her. He has never blushed with her. He looks like a perfect good husband. , It made her feel that she had found the best man in the world.
But in the end, they broke up because of a little thing, and the perfect boyfriend broke out this time: I have tolerated you so much before, what else do you want, I wanted to get angry 100 times before, and I have to bear it, what else do you want. …..
Put all the problems on the girls.
Cai Kangyong once said in Qipao: “High emotional intelligence does not mean not losing your temper, but to lose your temper reasonably, so that your emotions can be expressed smoothly, and you can be yourself comfortably in order to make yourself and the world happy.”
In fact, the older you are, the more you will find that there are many people around you who are smiling to you, and there are very few people who will really lose your temper and point out the problem. After all, maintain a superficial harmony and maintain the image of a “good person”. It is what adults are best at doing.
However, as Lu Xun said: “The world is really difficult. It is certainly not a good thing to say that a person is’unsophisticated’, but it is not a good thing to say that he is’deeper than the world’.”
You can seek the world with the “deeper” people, and you cannot live with the quiet people.
In contrast, I want to have a deep friendship with someone who will expose my temper, and I don’t want to have a deep friendship with someone who always wears a beautiful mask and never pushes his heart.
I lose my temper, and the relationship is clear and bright for a long time
Matsuura Yataro said in the book “Live Your Life with Heart Today”:
I tend to continue to use the broken things, and even feel that the moment the thing breaks is the moment when your relationship really starts. Don’t rush to buy new products immediately, but make up your mind to fix it. It’s the same with people. After collision, friction, and rupture, suspicion is created, and then it is repaired slowly. This is the true beginning of your deep-seated relationship.
In this world, there is no soul that hits it off. Losing your temper is just a process of running in. Compared with not saying a word, the contradiction becomes bigger, it is better to solve it on the spot every time an impulse occurs.
In the U.S. drama “The Best of Friends”, Freddie and Stewart are such two bad tempers, but they have been loving each other and killing each other. The golden sentences in their daily conversations seem to be poisonous, but they are full of tongues. Love.
In one episode, Stewart made an appointment with a doctor. When Freddy learned about it, he was obviously worried, but didn’t forget the sentence “Do you have any problem? Except for your body that turned into a horror movie?” Stewart immediately tore back angrily. : “Just check how my stomach functions, lest I spit it out when I see you.”
People who never lose their temper and are always accumulating anger and resentment are not worthy of deep friendship.
Really value a relationship and really want to have a deep relationship with one person. It will not lay a lot of thunder for this relationship. You come and go between two people, and all contradictions and conflicts are resolved on the spot, so whether it is a friend or a friend, Whether it is a colleague or a partner, the relationship can be clear and long-lasting.
There is a saying: “The more people I know, the more I like dogs.” Because dogs are simple enough, if you like it, you like it, and if you don’t like it, you don’t like it.
The same is true with people. Don’t be afraid to lose your temper. Deep friendship requires a moderate exposure of each other’s emotions. The two parties in the relationship understand each other in the process of emotional exchange. The first step in the interaction is to let people see your sincerity.