August 03, 2021

Waiting for others to finish speaking is a basic cultivation

01

In order to verify the fruitful results of her teaching her son, the young mother gave two apples to her young son, and then she waited for her son to give an apple to his mother.

But after the son caught the apple, he took a bite of an apple without even looking at her. Of course the young mother was very sad, and was about to scold her son for his selfish greed. Who knows that at this moment, the childish son said milkily: Mom, you eat this apple, I have tasted it, it’s not sour!

Mom’s tears shed instantly.

Sometimes, the reason why we are angry is because we have no patience and time to wait for an answer. After listening, there is another kind of warmth.



02

Some time ago, I worked with a friend on a project, and I felt very diligent. During the acceptance, I was very upset to hear such and other criticisms and suggestions.

My friend called to talk about the amendment. Before I could speak, I told Datong my own reasons and thoughts.

Afterwards, we basically sang our own tunes, each said our own sets, the conversation broke up, and neither of us showed our own thoughts.

My friend said anxiously, can we talk? Can’t talk, let’s talk on WeChat!

Later, my friends sent their thoughts clearly and clearly on WeChat. In fact, there are indeed very desirable opinions in some places, and the problem can be solved easily.

In hindsight, many things are bad because we didn’t give each other a chance to finish.



You wait for me to finish talking.

This is a humble request in modern social communication, and we often ignore the most basic respect in communication.

03

The brothers just got married. During the break-in period, the young couple quarreled every day. Both of them were very distressed, and they were about to divorce.

Yesterday the girl called me to complain.

I know that the housework is unreasonable. It is nothing more than trivial things that you can’t kill the donkey in the donkey pen. You pay more, he pays less and so on. I listened to her patiently and expressed sympathy and approval in a timely manner.

In the end, the girl happily said to go back to cook for a man, and she praised me: You really can comfort people, after your comfort, I think it’s nothing big.

I smiled and hung up.



I thought to myself, I didn’t say anything. It’s just that she wants to confide in her grievances.

04

According to legend, Zhong Ziqi was a woodcutter who wore a hat, draped clothes, carried a shoulder, and took a sharp axe.

In history, it is recorded that Yu Boya played the drum and piano by the Han River. Zhong Ziqi exclaimed: “It is as tall as a mountain, and like a flowing water.”

The two became close friends.

After Zhong Ziqi’s death, Yu Boya thought that there was no friend in the world, and he would no longer play the piano for life.

Listening not only narrows the distance of the soul, but also the beginning of meeting a confidant.

The international superstar Carol had a tour, and the airlift guitar was broken. Carol asked the airline to complain. No one wanted to listen to his complaint. He thought that Carol made a big fuss and that the guitar is his life for an artist.

Carol was very sad. In anger, Carol, who had repeatedly complained to no avail, created a video song “United Airlines broke my beloved guitar”. Through the form of singing, the guitar was damaged and What happened during the entire complaint process was revealed.

Unexpectedly, in the next two weeks, the number of Internet hits for this song exceeded 5 million.

What is even more unexpected is that due to the negative impact of this video song, United Airlines’ stock fell by 10% within a few days, causing a huge loss of up to 180 million U.S. dollars – enough to buy more than 51,000 guitars. To Carol.

“Actually, I just want someone from United Airlines to stand up and listen to my dissatisfaction, admit that they have done something wrong, and say’sorry’ to me, that’s all. But they didn’t do that.”

In the end, Carol stated the reason why he insisted on complaining to United Airlines.

When you wait for me to finish speaking, Carol is nothing more than a respectful listening.

05

Many parents now complain that their children are entering a rebellious period and are not obedient at all!

Not being obedient has basically become the common aspiration of adolescent parents, but if you think about it calmly, in fact, this complaint itself has a problem.

Let’s ask ourselves, have you listened carefully to your child’s voice?

Do you know what the child is thinking and what he hopes for?

You want to understand your child, but you don’t want to listen to him, but you want him to listen to you. You are always talking about it, like a repeater, what does he listen to you?

Waiting for me to finish speaking, this is a reminder, a kind of sarcasm to the impetuous and eager you and me.

When God created man, why did he have only one mouth but two ears? That was to let us talk less and listen more.

None of us burned our ass, we were scorched in a hurry. Why don’t you even have time to wait for others to express? Sometimes you ask yourself, this is a disease that can be cured.

Waiting for others to finish speaking is a kind of ability and a kind of cultivation.

There is a kind of listening called being confident, calm and calm. It is a kind of momentum and aura. It can be majestic without a word, and it can be warm without a word is charm.

There is a kind of listening that requires selflessness, listening to the sound of falling snow, listening to the wind over the eaves, listening to the birdsong in the morning, listening to a beautiful melody is a state and cultivation.

Only with inner peace can we know how peaceful the years are.

Love and respect are sometimes the power of listening, and the most affectionate gaze is to finish speaking.

Waiting for others to finish speaking is a kind of quality, seemingly babbled expression, but in front of and behind is the wisdom and understanding.