Psychologists have found that there are some basic guidelines in interpersonal communication, and the mastery of these guidelines will help you obtain good benefits in interpersonal communication. When we follow these rules, we can increase the wealth in our relationship accounts.
1. Encourage others as much as possible. You have to compliment him for the results-even small successes. Praise is like sunshine. Without it, we don’t have the nutrients for growth. Your praise will never be superfluous.
2. You have to let others keep their face at all times. Don’t embarrass anyone, don’t belittle others, don’t exaggerate the mistakes of others.
3. Only say good things about others behind their backs. If you can’t find anything good to say, then you remain silent.
4. Observe others carefully, then you will find good deeds. When you applaud, you have to fully explain the reason so that your praise will not be flattering.
5. You should always quote the noble thoughts and motives of others. Everyone wants to be considered magnanimous and selfless by others. If you want others to improve, then you act as if he already has these good qualities. That way, he will do everything possible to not disappoint.
6. You should not criticize others as much as possible, and it is best to adopt indirect methods when you have to criticize. You must always be right to the matter and not to the person. You have to show the other party that you really like him and are willing to help him. You should never criticize others in writing.
7. You want to allow others to feel good about themselves occasionally. Don’t brag, but admit that you have shortcomings. You must be modest and prudent to avoid arrogance and rashness. If you want to make enemies, you hit others everywhere. If you want to get friends, you have to be forgiving and forgiving.
8. When you make a mistake, you have to apologize in time; when you are to be blamed, you’d better take the initiative to ask for the crime.
9. You have to make more suggestions instead of giving orders. By doing so, you can promote cooperative relations and avoid conflicts.
10. When others are angry, you have to show understanding. The anger of others is often just to get your attention. You have to give others enough sympathy and attention-they need it.
11. You should talk as little as possible. You have to give others a chance to tell, and you are willing to be a good listener.
12. You have to convince others that the idea comes from himself. A good idea doesn’t care who its owner is, and everyone is willing to believe that they are acting according to their own wishes. The ocean is the king of streams, because it can accommodate hundreds of rivers.
13. Don’t interrupt others, even when they say something wrong. When he still has something in his heart, he won’t be patient to listen to you.
14. You have to try to analyze things from the standpoint of others. The Indians once said: “First of all, you must wear someone else’s shoes and walk a certain distance.” Don’t forget to ask yourself: Why did he do this? Understanding everything means forgiving everything.
15. Don’t always be reasonable. You can be smarter than others, but you should not tell them. You have to admit that you may be wrong-so you can avoid all quarrels.
16. Often give some small gifts-you can find a way to make others happy without any reason. The energy spent on the gift shows how much you spend on him.
17. When there is a conflict, you should keep calm. You must first listen to the other party’s opinions and try to find the consensus between the two parties. You must also treat yourself critically, promise the other party to consider his opinions, and express gratitude to him for his inspiration.
18. You have to show genuine interest in others. You should use this as your own slogan: be interested in others, rather than show interest in yourself. You have to show that you are thinking about ways to help each other.
19. Keep smiling. Nothing needs a smile more than those who never smile at others.
20. Always call the other party’s full name. This shows your respect for him. Everyone is willing to hear his own name, which makes him more happy than hearing any substitute for a name. Of course, for this you have to work hard to remember the other person’s name.
21. You have to learn to see things from the other side’s point of view. You have to ask yourself: what is really needed? How can I make him profit?
22. You have to find a way to make yourself feel good when talking with everyone, including on the phone-first to yourself, then to your behavior, and finally to you.
23. Forgive others as soon as possible and don’t hold grudges.
24. When you think of the other person, give him your best wishes.
Of course, it is impossible for us to grasp all these laws thoroughly at once. Maybe no one can abide by all these rules forever. However, it is beneficial to achieve this ideal state as much as possible.
Psychologists suggest that implementing these rules does not presuppose your love for others. The purpose of these actions is to strengthen the current feeling-but sometimes also to awaken a feeling. Tolerance is a necessary prerequisite for the implementation of these 24 rules. The more we are interested in a person and the more willing to understand him, the more tolerant we will be to him.
Some people use several of these rules to serve their own purposes, which does not conform to the essence of the rules. If things go on like this, your actions will have an adverse effect on yourself and others. The rule here is not for short-term perfunctory. When a plant wilts, people will not paint it green to make it look beautiful, but will water it and take good care of it. How to provide others with what they need is exactly what the 24 rules will tell you.