A new day, new fear, the world beyond the bed is too difficult.
As a social fear patient, this was my first thought after opening my eyes.
Why is there no job in the world that is dedicated to social phobias?
After all, it only takes a second to kill a social terror:
I met an acquaintance in the elevator, nodded and smiled, then quickly put on the headphones;
Being praised in public is like sitting on pins and needles, so nervous that you forget to say thank you;
If you can solve the problem by text message typing, you will never speak;
Online chats are endless, and when you meet offline, you close up instantly…
The following scene is staged every day:
But in the adult world, social interaction is more important than X-friendship. It is impossible to abandon, only to face difficulties.
Fortunately, there are always some ways to make our life a little easier in this complex world.
I have summarized some unspoken social rules for adults, which can allow us to try to get along with more people.
When you are in a relationship, don’t ask “Does he love me”, asking is hesitation, asking is not loving. The answer is actually in your heart, why ask for trouble?
Individual invitations of the opposite sex cannot be classified in normal interpersonal communication, let alone the “personal connections” you imagine.
Especially when the other party has never brought you to his social circle.
Any relationship that requires you to work hard to maintain, in fact, there is no need to maintain it.
Licking the dog to the end, there must be nothing.
Generally between 22 and 25 years old, you can meet people of the opposite sex who can chat all night without feeling boring, and each other’s education level and life experience are equal, and they are likely to be the most matching marriage partner in your life.
The higher the level of education, the greater the possibility of this. Once missed, there will be basically no second time.
Through scientific research, human beings do have “derailment genes”. Some people are easy to derail by nature, so it is said that there are only 0 and countless derailments.
Don’t try to get a derailed person to return to the family. It’s useless, and biologists can’t figure it out.
If you want to find a satisfied partner, there is only one trick to put it bluntly: cast a net widely.
After graduation, do not enter the society for too long to talk about love, at most one or two years, you may break up without getting married.
Dating more, socializing more, meeting more, and getting to know the opposite sex more.
And casting the net does not conflict with working hard in your career. Because your career expands and your income increases, your social circle increases, and the depth and breadth of your social circle increase, so you will naturally meet many high-quality boys.
It’s not good to be in a relationship for too long. If you have been in a relationship for five or six years, and a bunch of boys offer you courtesy in the best years, you will refuse. As a result, your boyfriend breaks up with you later. The high-quality men who have offered courtesy are all married. What should I do?
Therefore, you have to make money, socialize, and date. There is no conflict and there is no need to confront each other.
But there is only one key core method, which is to cast the net widely.
The cause of many women’s tragedies is not that they cannot marry, but on the contrary, they are married.
The concept of marriage and love that can be applied in any era: the right to each other.
It’s not that the right person is bound to be happy, but at least the chance of meeting the right person will double.
Try not to climb high or end up.
If you don’t want to do or can’t do what others ask for, you must simply refuse.
If you agree to fail, it hurts more than not.
The unspoken rule is an exploitation.
The so-called exploitation, the power position is superior, squeezing the value of the other party in various forms.
The beauty of the unspoken rule is that the exploited party is sometimes brainwashed, resulting in the illusion of “I am profitable.”
Ask others to have quality questions, and don’t want to waste others’ time.
First of all, don’t ask questions that Baidu can know.
Second, the question must be able to be answered by the other party.
For example, people often start a long paragraph of their own marriage, family, career, and academic misfortune. The last sentence is, teacher, what should I do?
You know, I can’t help you make decisions, even if I know which choice is better, it will deprive you of room for self-growth.
Then the question of “what to do” is too general, considering various factors, maybe I can’t finish it in a few days, I don’t have the time, and I don’t know where to start.
It is recommended that when asking others, you can give your own options, and then add some pros and cons of your own analysis to each option.
This shows a good attitude: I don’t want to waste your time too much, and the decision is made by myself, and your suggestions are the right reference and supplement.
Regardless of work or life, don’t let yourself lose your temper at will. Especially, don’t let your temper exceed your ability.
If you are right, there is no need to be angry. If you are wrong, you are even less qualified to lose your temper with others.
Should learn to silently shut up when it is not suitable for shouting.
There is only one reason for negative energy consumption. You are too careful and serious about other people’s affairs.
When someone is complaining around, you can get in your ears, but don’t worry, just stick to him.
When most people ask “what should I do”, they are not really asking for help and do not need to give specific suggestions.
You can’t, it’s useless to know anyone.
Knowing people is not equal to acquaintances, nor is it equal to friends. Being immersed in the false feeling that “the friends around me are great and prove that I am also great” will not help personal growth in any way.
Socializing for the sake of socializing is just a waste of time.
Humans are social animals, and they can restrain negative emotions in interpersonal communication.
So the negative emotions of others are actually far greater than what you feel.
In other words, if you feel that other people’s impatience towards you is 1, the true level should be 10.
Other emotions are the same.
If you have happy and successful things, you can share it with your parents and partners, and send less friends.
Because what most people want to see is how bad you are.
Don’t talk about hobbies with people who don’t agree on consumption.
Because when it comes to spending money, your happiness is not the same.
Whether a man likes you or not is really not about whether he is willing to spend money for you. This kind of demand belongs to the bottom level, which is higher than the physiological demand, but it is not much higher.
In many cases, spending money also has the mentality of self-satisfaction to show off, and it is not necessarily spent on you.
The most intuitive point is to see if he is willing to cook for you.
Cooking involves a lot of personal things, especially in an era when cooking is no longer necessary.
A good mix in the workplace is really not enough to work overtime and do a lot of work every day, but good performance is enough.
If you can let your supervisor appreciate you and let your partners agree with you, then you can not be squeezed out and get the reuse you deserve. This is a more important ability than working hard.
No one likes criticism. If someone says he likes it, then he must be lying.
Criticizing others is not an ability, but complimenting others is. Learn the compliment skills, and you will find that the world is better than it is now.
If the above is too difficult, there is also a light version:
Learn something and you will need it someday.