April 17, 2021

“Don’t be annoying, parents don’t owe you!” A sense of boundaries is better love

01

In the family group chat, everyone talked about the children’s naughty and noisy.

The cousin mentioned that on Children’s Day, because she was too busy at work, she didn’t prepare gifts for her son. As a result, the son cried and smashed her with a sofa pillow and refused to eat dinner to protest. The cousin really couldn’t help him, and went to the supermarket to make up a gift that night, and the son was satisfied and stopped tossing.

“What a little ancestor! Every time I want something, I don’t always buy him. Occasionally I forgot to make such a big fire, as if I owed him, the child now…”

My cousin’s remarks reminded me of a scene that happened in my house the day before yesterday:



That night I made dinner and called my daughter to eat. My daughter wanted to finish watching the cartoon with two or three minutes left, so I ate it first.

After a while, my daughter came over, glanced at the table, and stared at me: “Where is my meal?” Seeing that I didn’t respond, she asked, “Why didn’t I serve it?”

I was stunned. Forgetting that serving a meal is actually a trivial matter, but seeing her face as it should be, I still feel a little bit astonished: talking like this, do you treat my mother as a nanny?

In the end, the daughter reluctantly served the bowl of rice by herself. I also told my daughter that I will do my own things by myself in the future.

Lying in bed at night, thinking about this incident, I still feel very disappointed: I treat my daughter as a treasure, and always break my heart for her, but I never thought that in her eyes, it became what I should do. dereliction of duty.

Children, only parents are willing to do it for you, how can it be that way?

02



Several colleagues who have children love to share parenting experience together. I was not interested in it before, and I didn’t consciously join in after I had children.

Among them is a colleague, sister Zhang, who is definitely the most troubled parent among them. She has always been responsive to her daughter.

Not only are they willing to spend money for their daughters for food and clothing, but for expensive piano lessons and summer camps, they sign up without blinking;

Some time ago, my daughter clamored to buy an Apple mobile phone. Although Sister Zhang was too expensive, she finally bought it through her teeth.

Sister Zhang always said that her daughter is not easy.

When I was two or three years old, I was too busy at work and kept leaving my children with my grandparents. I didn’t spend much time with my daughter, and I didn’t do anything for my daughter. When the child was a child, he called his grandma his mother by mistake.

When I think of these things, I always feel sad, and I want to keep my children close to any good things.

I understand her thoughts, but I don’t agree with them so much: Where can such a feeling of owe be born?



Colleagues all know that Zhang Jie doesn’t have a few decent clothes all year round, and she only chooses the cheapest clothes in the cafeteria.

I also buy toys and snacks for my children, but all of them come from love and care, not because of debts.

Which parent did not do their best to raise their children?

Get up and work in the dark, and toil after get off work. There is no weekend, no rest.

She sheltered the child from the wind and rain from the moment he was born, arranged everything in order to protect him under his own wings.

When the child grows up and even gets married, the parents still manage the child inside and out.

How many parents have given everything but still feel that it is not enough?

The little grievances you endured when you grew up all boil down to your inability. At any time, I am afraid that you are too tired and too busy, and keep caring for you. If you can, I want to stand in front of you forever to protect you from wind and rain.

Parents who have been poor all their lives are financially barren, the more they worry about their children being compared, the more they feel that they owe them something.

Parents seem to live for their children all their lives. As long as the children say a word, they will work hard to pick the stars and the moon.

Silently burdened with hardships and heavy burdens, I only hope that you can walk gently and skillfully on the road of life.

For children, parents never owe anything.

03

I used to watch American dramas, and there was a kind of plot that always puzzled me: when children borrow money from their parents, they still have to write IOUs and go through the formalities. If it is out of date, you will even have to bear legal responsibility.

At that time, I thought: China is better, no matter how old the child is, the parents will help. The Americans do this without a little human touch.

When I became a mother, I gradually understood: A sense of boundaries may be better love.

How many children squeeze everything from their parents, but still feel that there is not enough?

I became a family, but I asked my parents to take up mortgages and car loans;

Even at some ages, they have to eat and drink with their parents;

After accepting it with peace of mind, set aside rules, right and wrong, and responsibilities. Once one desire is satisfied, there will be a hundred desires to be filled.

You have a glamorous life, but you can’t see the parents who support you, and you are still whispering to the world.

When you are fully equipped with electronic products, your parents have to think about buying a 100M data package for 10 yuan for a long time;

When you are wearing designer clothes and shoes of thousands of dollars, your parents are wearing old clothes and shoes that you eliminated;

You feel that your knowledge, accomplishments, and vision are far beyond your parents, and when you dislike your parents “have never seen the world”, have you ever thought that it is your parents’ repeated support that takes you to a higher place.

Children, parents treat you well because they care and value, but it is by no means what you should think of!

Which time of giving is not to burn yourself to perfect you?

Mom and dad love you, love is not easy.

Therefore, you are not qualified to complain or dislike your parents for their efforts, you are not qualified to be impatient with your parents’ care, and you are not qualified to hang up the phone when you don’t need it!

Don’t think of your parents when you are missing something. They are not babysitters, they are not cash machines, and they should not kneel and guard you forever.

Remember, parents don’t owe you!

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