Like is unreliable
Reliable is trustworthy
Many people will unconsciously force others to like in their interpersonal communication.
Therefore, they often focus on how to improve their emotional intelligence, like to guess each other’s preferences, take care of others’ emotions, and look in the mirror before going out every day:
Am I so decent, cute, and will others like me?
This kind of interpersonal communication is very costly.
Because “like” is a feeling. Ten thousand people have ten thousand feelings. You have to adapt yourself to different people, different feelings, and spend different thoughts on each person.
And in the end, what they like may not be you, but your thoughts on them.
I have a partner who has a good character and strong execution ability. I only recently learned that many people have come to dig her, and those who come to dig her all have good personal relationships with her.
They think that they have a good relationship with her, they take it for granted that the warmth card is useful.
I brought her a bag from abroad today; I will give her a box of dumplings made by myself tomorrow; I will bring her a bunch of samples of Korean skin care products the day after tomorrow.
I’m curious, why she chose me, because we actually don’t seem so close.
“Because only you clearly tell me what to do, how to do it, profit goals, and what I can get if I exceed my goals. Your professionalism makes me trust.”
The so-called professionalism is reliable.
Is the best social skills
A reliable person is the least costly way of interpersonal communication and the least risk.
Chat with smart people
Do things with reliable people
Some people are very likable, but they can’t make friends, especially can’t work together.
Unreliable people who can tolerate you because they like you are close relatives and friends who can count with one hand.
Interpersonal communication is very realistic. People are not concerned about who you are, but what you can give me. You don’t have to change yourself for others, but you can’t have nothing.
The most important thing is not to improve EQ
But to improve one’s professional ability
You can’t be liked by everyone, let alone a friend who likes you today may turn against you tomorrow because of a trivial matter.
Simple emotional maintenance requires a high cost, but the stability is poor.
Warmth, friendliness, and kindness are not only easy to be replaced, but also easy to give up because of the lack of thoroughness in a small matter.
We are always more critical of good people who are docile. Just like people who only have beauty, it is easy to be disappointed. The so-called “fading and relaxing”, you are a beauty, how can you have wrinkles!
For people who encounter frustration in interpersonal communication, the most important thing is not to improve EQ, but to improve professional ability and irreplaceability in a certain field.
This is the era when professionalism is king. People who have no feeling for you may be willing to play with you because you have cooked a delicious hot spring egg that is accurate to the second.
This is an era of snobbery and fairness, and picky people may choose to cooperate with you because you have done every little thing reliably.
you do not like me
But want to be friends with me
Dating is never late; the AA system never delays payment; promises others’ things and makes 100% effort to do them; having professional skills can help others…
All of the above can bring you many real friends and good cooperation.
In addition to people who like you, they will be friends with you, and people who respect you will also be friends with you.
The former is difficult to control and basically depends on fate, while the latter can be achieved by our efforts.
Because it’s easy to find people you like, and it’s hard to find people who are reliable.