If you care too much about other people’s thoughts, then no matter how they think of you, how they talk about you, or what you do will stop your progress in life. Maybe you give up what you want to pursue because you are afraid of being judged by others or most people. Maybe you will not improve your life because you know how others will react to your actions through your previous experience.
To a certain extent caring about other people’s views on your behavior will help you get beneficial feedback and help you maintain stability. But paying too much attention to the opinions of others will make you stay in the same place all the time, and it will make you stagnate and dare not pursue the life you really want.
So how do you overcome this problem and do what you want by finding more inner freedom. Usually, people have many different ideas and opinions on this issue. But you can learn how to look at others’ perspectives better.
Share with you 5 methods that have helped me solve this problem.
First of all, people don’t actually look at you as you think or pay attention to what you are doing.
People tend to stagnate because they worry about other people’s opinions. Through my experience, I find that a large part of the reason is because people’s minds are very concerned about what you are thinking and doing. In this week or the rest of the year, you may be worried that others will laugh or talk about what you do.
But the actual situation is that they are often busy caring about their own affairs, and they also worry about what others will think of them. Perhaps this fact will make you feel a little insignificant, but in fact, thinking like this will make you feel a lot easier than before.
Yes, you may be the most important person in the world in your mind. But don’t think that others think the same way. Because in their world, the most important person is likely to be themselves or their children.
Treat admiration and criticism calmly
I think it is good to do my best in order to gain the appreciation of others, and I also support and agree with this approach. It’s a good thing to get praise from others, but I rarely get overly excited because of it, and I jump up and down happily.
This kind of thinking also has the advantage that when you get the opposite negative criticism, you can also accept it calmly, without too much negative pessimism hindering your progress. If you learn anything from these criticisms, it will also make you grateful for being criticized.
Doing things in this way can help you not care so much about what others think.
Be more concerned about what you think of yourself
If you care too much about what others think of you, that kind of ardent desire will make you feel your own inner barrenness even more, and you start to look at yourself based on how others think of you.
So, more use those that are more beneficial and make you feel more powerful to replace those desperate desires. Those things that can give you inner peace can prevent your life from becoming a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions controlled by the opinions of others.
Pay more attention to what you think of yourself and build up your self-esteem. There are two ways to do this:
1. Daily self-appreciation diary
Base self-respect solely on what you have gained or what you have done this week, or based on what others think of you and what they tell you about yourself. It is easy to lose yourself. And the establishment of self-respect based solely on these will make it extremely unstable.
A self-appreciation diary is a way to help you solve this problem by looking at the good and bad aspects of yourself.
Every night of the week, you can take out a pen and notepad or use the notepad on your computer or mobile phone to record these. You can write down 5 things you admire about yourself at a time, but remember not to just write about your achievements.
Also write down the good aspects related to the self-respect center. What I mean is something that has always existed regardless of your performance in work or study. They may be your essence, nature, like sense of humor, kindness, honesty, intelligence, creativity, etc.
2. Treat others and yourself in a friendly and considerate manner
Treat him more kindly and considerately, then it’s much easier to treat yourself in the same way. When you unconsciously want to evaluate others, there is a simple way for you to be more considerate and friendly to others, and that is to ask yourself some helpful questions. I found one particularly useful:
What qualities does this person have in me? How similar is he/she to me in this respect?
This approach shifted my attention from comparing the differences between me and others to the similarities between us. It eliminates the gap between us, I can feel that the distance between me and this person is getting closer, and I will understand others better.
You can try this method when you want to evaluate someone unconsciously. You don’t have to care whether that person is close to you or just a stranger.
Through this method, you will find that when you evaluate yourself, you will naturally think of and apply this more considerate and friendly method to yourself. And through this method, you will feel better and better about yourself and help build self-respect.
In addition, treat others kindly, and others will treat you like this one day.
Remember, not everything that others say about you is true.
If we treat other people’s things very negatively, his or her regular personal attacks, the hurtful things they say, especially when these things happen to you, remember that this is not the real you.
These words or these negative methods are used by people to release the anger, despair or jealousy accumulated in their hearts in their lives. Or maybe it is the point that people use to emphasize TA is correct. It may also be that TA is used to insulting others to influence others’ emotions, making them fall into a vicious circle, and attracting others’ attention through those arguments. This is just their thoughts, not what you do or want to do.
Remember this method at any time can help us calm down. And please remember that other people are also humans, and they will have unsatisfactory days, marriages or jobs.
Listen to the opinions of those who support you and are calm.
I don’t advocate no longer caring about what others say. Listen to their helpful suggestions and help you stay stable, so that your life and relationships with others will not get out of control or even collapse.
But choose carefully who you want to listen to. Listening to the opinions of a person who often complains about everything or a certain person and always sees only the pessimistic and negative aspects of the matter may not bring you much effect.