Is emotional intelligence important to children?
In 2011, a 50-year-long EQ study in the UK revealed its conclusions.
These researchers continued to track a group of children, from their infancy, childhood to adulthood, and they found that those children who showed high emotional intelligence in their early childhood are often more likely to have a successful career and a happy life as adults. That is, emotional intelligence is positively related to people’s success and happiness.
Why is there such a relationship?
Generally speaking, children with high EQ can have stable emotions, are not easy to get angry and angry, and can better adjust even if they have short-term negative emotions;
They also often have good empathy and the ability to understand others, have good interpersonal relationships, and are easy to gain the approval and favor of others, that is, these children are empathetic and likable;
In addition, children with high EQ have better willpower, stronger ability to resist frustration, and can deal with ridicule or failure with a good attitude, just like a tumbler that can’t fall.
It can be said that children with high EQ are the darlings of nature, but high EQ can also be cultivated.
Children with high EQ are lucky, but low EQ often hinders their growth in all aspects.
Do you know what behaviors children with low EQ tend to have?
6 kinds of manifestations, indicating that your child’s EQ is extremely low.
Child psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein once had some summary of children’s low EQ. Among them, the following 6 kinds of children are more prominent. If you find that your child has more than one of the following behaviors, parents should reflect:
1. The nest is horizontal.
Case: Amy is a timid child in the eyes of other children and is often bullied by others. Once he was about to eat a lollipop outside and was beaten by a savage little boy, Xiao Tu immediately handed the lollipop in his hand to others for mercy.
But Amy is a little bully in his brother’s eyes at home, and often bullies his brother for no reason.
Once, because he wanted to snatch the cake from his brother, he threatened his brother and said that the monster would take him away, which made him cry.
Having been wronged from other children, children with low EQ will spread grievances on the weak or those who love them.
Like to vent emotions to innocent people, it is a typical manifestation of low EQ children.
2. Losing your temper with a disagreement.
Case: Kate and neighbor children play with building blocks in the living room, and they agree who builds the higher bricks and who wins.
Leilei collapsed after reaching RMB 5 or 6 several times, while neighbors and children could reach RMB 10 each time.
In the end, Kate lost. He not only kicked off the opponent’s building blocks, but also lay on the ground and rolled, crying and asking the neighbors to give him the title of winner.
Unable to accept failure and frustration, and have difficulty controlling emotions, children with low EQ are often unpopular because they are often contract breakers.
Children will also be discouraged by their hot temper. The parents of these children often have headaches for their children’s irritability.
3. Only focus on your own feelings.
Case: On the only children’s swing in the park, a little girl in an orange skirt is swinging happily.
Suddenly a dark-skinned little boy rushed over, pushed the little girl in orange skirt down, and sat on the swing with satisfaction.
The little girl who was pushed aside cried aggrievedly, but the little boy on the swing giggled.
Selfish, only paying attention to their own feelings, not understanding the feelings of others, and wantonly hurting others. These low-EQ children are short-sighted and enjoy momentary happiness. They don’t know that only paying attention to their own feelings will make them lose friendship and the opportunity to build friendship.
4. Excessive emphasis on others’ evaluations of themselves.
Case: My mother took Ali on an outing in the kindergarten. When she arrived at the starting point, a child in the same class said that the little butterfly on her skirt was like a monster.
Ali was very upset, and she was crying and must let her mother take her home for a change. Seeing that he was about to leave, Ali would not get in the car anyway. Mom had to take Ali home.
Frustration tolerance is low, because other people feel bad about a little negative evaluation, and easily change their behavior due to other people’s evaluation, over-valuing others’ views of themselves, and lack of self-confidence.
5. Love to poke other children or the pain of others.
Case: There was a classmate who was stuttering in the kindergarten. Once he argued with Charles to see who had better cartoons on his clothes. When the other party was anxiously “I…I…”, Charles made fun of him: I can’t speak, shame and shame…” The other party left in a huff.
By belittling others and elevating oneself, it seems to have gained some advantages, but it is actually a manifestation of narrow mindedness. These low EQ children often cannot get real advantages.
6. Inability to listen to other people’s suggestions and attitudes.
Case: One day on the weekend, Mark went out to play with his mother. As soon as I walked to the top of the stairs, the rain began to fall. Mother said she would not go out if it rained, and go home to play games.
Mark must go out to play. In order to confront his mother, he was stuck at the top of the stairs and refused to listen. An old grandmother who just went home on crutches was also almost crushed.
Lack of empathy, self-righteousness, and unwillingness to adjust to the objective situation, this kind of low EQ children will eventually fall into trouble because of their mentality and stubbornness.
How to save children’s low EQ?
Daniel Gorman, a psychologist known as the “father of emotional intelligence”, believes that emotional intelligence is so important to the growth of children. Parents need to consciously cultivate children’s emotional intelligence from an early age, and emotional self-control ability is often nurturing high. The key to emotional intelligence for kids.
Gorman said that emotional intelligence is the ability to manage emotions.
Parents who often guide their children in accordance with the five steps of emotional counseling are conducive to raising children with high emotional intelligence. Parents should not forget to store them and use them frequently.
In fact, parents are often the best role models if they want their children to have high EQ.
Psychologist Harry Stan Sullivan said that children can often learn the best ways to cope with emotions from their parents and can copy their parents’ emotional intelligence. Therefore, if you want to raise children with high emotional intelligence, parents should lead by example.
Some people say that IQ determines the lower limit of a child, and EQ determines the upper limit of a child.