What will happen to children without boundaries?
1. A sense of boundaries makes children more independent
Children should learn to be independent, learn to respect their parents’ choices, and parents choose their right to enjoy life. A lot of anxiety and conflicts have been reduced, and happiness has also increased dramatically.
2. A sense of boundaries is the foundation of a family harmony
The sense of boundaries by precepts and deeds will definitely provide fertile soil for the growth of children.
3. A sense of boundaries makes it easier for children to hold their spiritual territory and achieve self
Parents should practice their children’s ability to think independently and make independent decisions when they are raising their children.
Let him do his own things, and other people’s responsibilities, he will have a clear boundary and know what is inside and what is outside.
Her mentor was also greatly condemned, not to mention whether her mentor had other problems. The doctor’s sense of no boundaries is the underlying cause of his tragedy.
4. A sense of boundaries gives children a sense of self-worth
The establishment of a sense of boundaries allows children to know clearly what is achieved through their own efforts, which is a huge improvement in self-cognition.
The feeling of self-breakthrough must be a powerful force that can cultivate children to face life optimistically in the future.
The child has achieved breakthroughs in grades and abilities through his own strength. What he is happy about is his own efforts, not someone else.
Such beautiful experiences, strengthening self-confidence, strengthening optimism, and strengthening the sense of self-worth are the necessary forces for a successful life.
What can make people feel more happy than the results of their own hard work and then learning to identify and realize themselves?
This is the highest level of Maslow’s pyramid of needs theory: self-realization.
How to cultivate a child with a sense of boundaries
1. Parents must have a clear consciousness
Because most parents tend to lose themselves in the parent-child relationship. I don’t know what is the real way to express love, and I cannot act as a guide and educator soberly at any time.
They will feel that all the children’s requirements are reasonable and should be accepted.
Even if the child has a problem, the parents do not have the heart to punish them, but instead place their hopes on the children’s education after they grow up.
2. Don’t try to cover up your problems
Many parents try to hide their ears and steal the bell, trying to wait for their children to disappear automatically over time, or throw their children’s problems to boarding schools.
Some even send their children to militarized schools in an attempt to change their children’s bad behavior through violence. In fact, all of these methods are not meaningful.
Because, the dearest and beloved parents, the children who have no boundaries and no responsibilities cultivated, and a teacher who may not necessarily be liked by the child to correct it, isn’t that the world?
Beloved parents are like the God of children. God has acquiesced to his behavior. A teacher who developed from a stranger and a child does not necessarily like it, on what basis will the child be submissive and bow his head?
Let’s talk about those parents who expect their children to learn knowledge and modify their behaviors. That is even more unreliable.
The parents themselves may not think clearly: Who am I? Where do I come from and where do I want to go? These three philosophical questions. You also ask your children to constantly realize and get sublimation, how difficult it is.
In this case, there is only one possibility, that is, the child keeps trial and error, and is constantly punished by life, or violates the law and discipline, receives legal sanctions and imprisonment. There is no other way.
As for sending children to closed schools under military management, it is even more discouraged.
Especially for children who have behavioral deviations, such as rebellious, addicted to games, premature love, weariness of school, and cannot integrate into the collective life of the school, and cannot coexist peacefully with schoolmates.
Militarized management actually, their behavior is to fight, detain, and lock in a small dark room. These simple and crude methods are used to correct children’s behavior.
In fact, this fundamentally wipes out human rights and respect. Children who are corrected in this way will definitely be timid, fearful and anxious, insecure, and even have no other virtues except being servile.
Because he is not succumbing to love, but to violence.
And such a child will not be any grateful to his parents, but just think that his parents have abandoned him. That kind of boundless despair can make him a shadow in his future life.
And this is the way most of our parents would think of when there is really no way to discipline their children, to replace the education of love with simple and rude beaten and scolding.
But in a world where there is no mercy, no warmth, and only violence that makes people surrender, it is impossible to cultivate a child with a sound and better life.
3. Cultivating a sense of boundary requires attention to children and education of love
The only way to cultivate a child with a sense of boundaries is: love education, and parental love determines the quality of family education.
Family education full of love brings luck; education lacking love can only lead to misfortune.
The education of love is not simply to accompany the child, just live with the child every day, but to truly have a deep spiritual connection with the child and a loving communication.
It is necessary to have a conversation every day, to understand a child’s daily psychological needs, to observe some of the child’s words and deeds, to set certain boundaries, to pay attention and time, this is called true love education.
Provide children with a comfortable room, beautiful clothes, and a good learning environment. It is not an education of love, but a bird in captivity.
There is also a lot of money to express love, not love education. The education of love is based on attention, dedication, warmth, and respect, and requires action.
Come back every day to chat with your child for at least ten minutes, ask him the happiest thing in school, deepen and enlarge his excitement and happiness, and let him harvest optimistic and positive things.
Ask again if there is any violation of the rules, such as things with children, if there are fights, and if there are other things that people do not like. Analyze one by one to help children establish the awareness of rules and the boundaries of interpersonal relationships.
4. Parents need to set an example
The growth of the young sapling depends on the soil for its survival. Parents are the soil on which children’s sense of boundary is established.
Parents have no sense of self-discipline, their interpersonal relationship is chaotic, they can’t figure out everything, they can’t think, and they won’t cultivate a good child with a sense of boundaries.
Especially impatient, focused, time and loving parents are even worse. Because the child’s inner love is missing, he will break the rules and boundaries to attract your attention and become a problem student and a problem teenager.
Because if the gift of love cannot be obtained by the child from their parents, the child may obtain it from other sources, but this process is bound to be more difficult, usually requires a lifetime of fierce battle, and usually ends in failure.
This is the source of breaking the rules and failing life.