September 27, 2022

The tone you speak with your child determines your child’s IQ and EQ

Successful family education is closely related to the verbal expression of parents.

Especially the tone of the parents talking to their children will have a profound impact on the children’s emotional quotient, IQ, temperament and cultivation.

What should be the correct family education? Parents should help their children build a good life platform, so that their children have a good personality cultivation, know how to behave, understand the true meaning of success.

Only when the parents’ educational concept has changed, can our children receive a good family education and benefit for life.

Successful tutoring stems from the various ways of getting along between parents and children, and the tone affects the child’s life.


Tone of trust

Children especially want the trust of adults, especially their parents. If parents can express certain trust in their children, it will be very helpful to children.

For example: the child wants to learn to play badminton. You say in a trusting tone: “Okay, I support you. As long as you study hard, you can definitely play well.”

This invisibly gave the child a self-confidence and made him understand that as long as he persisted, he would gain.

If you use a sarcastic tone: “What do you learn? I want to learn everything a day, so learn first!”

Saying this will bring harm to the child’s self-esteem, making him depressed and inferior.


Respectful tone

From the age of two or three, children’s self-awareness begins to sprout, and this self-awareness will become stronger with age. Children have some of their own opinions and begin to recognize their own strengths and abilities.

When he puts forward his different opinions and requirements, don’t think that he doesn’t listen to you and wants to fight against you, so treat him roughly.

If you ask your child to learn English, but he wants to play with his friends again, you can’t lose your temper: “The older you are, the less obedient you are. If you don’t study well, it depends on what you can do when you grow up.”

Doing so will only make children more resistant and hate learning.

If you can use a respectful tone: “Then you will play for another 20 minutes, but after 20 minutes, you must learn English. Will you promise me?”

In this way, the children will be happy to accept, and willing to abide by the agreement.


Negotiating tone

Every child has self-esteem. If a parent asks a child to do something, you can use a negotiable tone to let him understand that he is equal to you and you respect him.

For example, if you want your child to tidy up the toys littered on the floor, you can say: “Baby, it is a bad habit to litter toys. Will you tidy up the toys with your mother?”

In this way, children usually come to help right away and pack things together.

If you use the accusing command tone: “What did you do! Toys are littered all day long, hurry up and pack them!”

If your child listens to your blame, he will feel disgusted in his heart. Even if he does what you ask, he will be unhappy.



Every child has advantages and needs to be respected and recognized. Children who are often recognized, seen and praised will grow up full of confidence, sunny and optimistic.

On the contrary, children who are often not recognized, seen, belittled, and denied may be burdened with inferiority complex throughout their lives.

The advantage of “seeing” a child is the virtue of the parents. For example, if a child draws a picture, it may not be very good, but the enthusiasm and earnestness of the child’s painting is the biggest advantage.

When the child shows you the painting, it’s as if you understatement: “It’s okay to paint, no matter how good it is.”

After hearing this kind of response, children may lose enthusiasm and confidence in painting.

If you seriously affirm his efforts: “I can’t think that my baby painted so well. If you continue to work hard, you will definitely paint better.”

The children’s efforts are recognized, the desire to express is satisfied, and with happy emotional experience, they will be more interested in painting.


Encouraging tone

There is no perfect child in this world, and no child who never makes mistakes. In addition, the rules, right and wrong that the adults call, sometimes are actually the limitations of us as adults.

When a child has done something wrong, don’t just criticize and blame, but help him sum up lessons from his mistakes, accumulate experience, and encourage him to succeed again.

Such as the first time that the child helped her mother carry the rice bowl and fell to the ground and broke. Don’t blindly accuse “What did you do! It’s so stupid to hold a bowl unstable.”

This will dampen the child’s confidence and courage to try new things, and also make him feel that he is really stupid and incompetent.

If you can use the tone of encouragement: “If it is broken, it will be broken, that’s okay. Remember to use both hands to handle it well in the future.”

In this way, it not only soothes the child, but also gives the child the confidence to try again.

Parents need to provide a forgiving environment for their children to grow up. No matter how successful you are and how much wealth you have-other people’s children will crawl first when they are born, and your children will not run after birth.

In the face of the subject of life growth, the responsibility and wisdom of parents are the beacon that determines the future of the child.

As long as we educate our children with a heart that truly loves children, we are seeing ourselves and slowly finding the happiest, most balanced, and best mode of getting along with our children and ourselves.

All these efforts will allow us to harvest a high-quality life.

A child’s EQ and IQ depend on the parents’ words and deeds. It is the important task of all parents to cultivate a confident, optimistic, positive, upright, and sound-minded child.

But everyone must understand: there is no job in the world that is more important than this, and no success is more authentic and practical than family happiness.

Being a parent is not easy, and being a qualified parent is even more difficult. May all parents spend their time being able to be parents: sowing happiness and reaping happiness.