June 20, 2021

How do people with high EQ reject others?

01

Why would you not reject others?

(1) You don’t know how to reject others because you haven’t stumbled in this regard.

Some time ago, Beibei, a new intern from the company, happened to be assigned to H’s department. H glanced at her, smiled, and expressed welcome.

At first, H thought that she had just come to the company, and there should be a period of adaptation period, which means that she should not rush to engage with everyone in a hurry, that is, she will not make low-level mistakes… ..



Who knows, she is really cute, beyond H’s imagination-she made a mistake, although she didn’t know it.

Colleague A said: “I’ve been so thirsty for not drinking a drop of water until now!”

Beibei immediately went to pour a glass of water for A and brought it to A. At the beginning, A was very moved and felt that “colleagues are better newcomers.”

Colleague B spoke up: “It’s been really busy these days, I still have a lot of materials to copy…”

Beibei said, “Why don’t I make a copy for you?!”

Considering that these materials are not classified as confidential documents, so B asks Beibei to copy them, which can indeed save a lot of time…

Anyway, no matter who it is, no matter what needs, Beibei will try her best to help and respond. I don’t know if she is really too simple or too eager to please colleagues.



There are many similar situations. Three months have passed, and Beibei’s behavior has made everyone a habit-she is like a “public assistant”, tired and busy every day, specializing in chores; however, the difference is that everyone no longer I am grateful to her, and even feel that everything she has done is taken for granted; what is even more hateful is that when she needs help, no one is willing to help her, because other colleagues just buy time to complete their tasks, and they seem to be It seems to be very selfish–yes, no one takes her seriously. When she asks for help, the other party will almost always throw the sentence “I am very busy now, I will see if I can help you later”, and then there is no more. ….. This made her feel quite hurt. It was the first time that she realized what is meant by “you are good to others, and others may not be good to you”.

However, fortunately, Beibei is not too stupid, so she went to H (H is her direct supervisor) office to tell her about her troubles after work. H told her: “This is a lesson you need to take. Remember, At work, you must focus on your own tasks and do your own things. If you have any problems, you can come to me.” Beibei nodded thoughtfully…

The “good old man” in the workplace is actually really bad. The problem is that you shouldn’t be. If you put aside the reason of being too simple, maybe there is a sense of low value in your subconscious. Inferiority complex, lack of presence, and from the process of “promising everything to others” or easily “being a beast”, you experience a feeling of being needed and instinctively addicted to it, even mistakenly thinking it is “very popular” “Performance. The reality is often cruel, that is, many times: you are sold by others and you help others to count the money.

In addition, in other aspects, there are other reasons for not knowing how to reject others:

(2) You don’t know how to reject others because you are afraid that this will damage your feelings.

In fact, this kind of thinking is more redundant. Today’s society is more advanced than before. This also means that everyone’s thinking is more enlightened than before. Under normal circumstances, you will not care too much about your rejection, as long as you have a little experience. People often understand.

(3) You don’t know how to reject others because you didn’t think clearly, so you don’t have a strong sense of boundaries.

This mainly refers to the emotional aspect: some men and women do not refuse to associate with any opposite sex, or even fall in love with several opposite sexes at the same time, etc., because the TA did not think clearly, did not know which one he liked, and then tried to be more than one. Pick one of them-many Americans are like this. They will date multiple opposite sexes and choose one at last; that is, when they are not sure, they will not easily establish the sense of boundaries they should have. However, in the eyes of us Chinese, it is very likely that this phenomenon will be defined as “Hua Xin”.



(4) You don’t know how to reject others because the other person’s value or class is higher than you. For some reasons, you choose to kneel and lick.

Let the big coffee owe yourself a favor, and you can get something from the other person in the future. There are actually a lot of people who have this kind of thinking. Therefore, as long as the big coffee comes forward, many people will go out and fight for it, even if it is bankrupt! Therefore, you can often hear things like “Someone knows that he is financially struggling, but still For those who and who spent all the money” or “that who and who let him spend the money, he will spend the money” and the like, as a result, I didn’t see any benefits from the big coffee, but I was already in a difficult position. Even have to borrow money to maintain a living…

02

How do people with high EQ reject others?

Regarding rejection, we can’t be too casual or too direct and rude, so as not to damage interpersonal relationships, and we must pay attention to the method of rejection. Then, under what circumstances should we reject and how should we reject it?

Let’s take a look at how people with high EQ do:

(1) If you have completed your own work and have time left, people with high EQ will be happy to help others;

(2) If you do not complete your own work, and others need their own help to complete the other’s work and the time to provide help will not be too much, people with high emotional intelligence will not refuse;

(3) If the time is really tight, helping the other party will definitely delay your work and you can’t work overtime for something that day, people with high EQ will choose to refuse to help;

(4) If doing certain things will make others look down on themselves or form a habit of relying too much on themselves, people with high EQ will also choose to refuse; because the story of Dou Mien’s rise to mi enmity, tells us a human truth that cannot be violated: If you are a little busy, if you help once, there will be a second time; if you help a second time, there will be countless times afterwards. The development of the plot of endless help often begins with gratitude and ends with a gap. Whenever you cannot help, you will become a sinner.

(5) If what you do will cause others to misunderstand yourself and even have the hidden danger of “the future will be disadvantageous to yourself”, people with high EQ will also refuse…

According to different people, in different ways:

(1) Reject the “gentleman” and use hard moves-if the other party is a very enlightened person and will not hate because of being rejected, then you can directly reject it, maybe, the sooner the better; you can do it, you can’t do it No, the “gentleman” will immediately think of other solutions, and TAs are more concerned with saving time.

(2) Reject the weak or the villain, use soft tricks-if the other party’s psychological quality is relatively poor, can’t stand a blow, or has a darker heart, and it is easy to hate; then speak well to the TA, the more the better, the more As warm as you are, you must be as tact as you are. Anyway, you must not hurt the other party easily, and you must give additional compensation when necessary.