The gossip in daily life plays the function of promoting a person’s socialization, so that it is gradually infiltrated and influenced by social customs, customs, and moral standards, and becomes a member accepted by society. However, in social interactions, some people often use the tongue as a weapon to spread gossip on the Internet for the purpose of instigating discord and slandering others. This kind of gossip of the “tongue root” type is a bit boring.
So, from a psychological point of view, why do some people enjoy “chewing the tongue”?
First, it is the need to be paid attention to. One of the basic characteristics of “chewing the tongue” is excessive sharing of third party secrets. For both parties in interpersonal communication, not everyone can grasp the secrets of the “third party”, but it is everyone’s nature to be curious about the secrets of other people’s lives. If a person knows some true or false news of others through many inquiries, the content he (she) said can often attract many listeners and make himself the center of others’ attention. Therefore, people who “chew the tongue” may not necessarily be successful in life, but they can fully enjoy the feeling of being noticed and respected by grasping the secrets of others. This is also an unpleasant experience in real life. Kind of compensation.
The second is the need to relieve pressure. Psychological research has shown that if a person has too many secrets in his heart, he needs corresponding psychological energy to control these secrets. This is often uncomfortable, so there will definitely be a need to talk. For those who have grasped the secrets of others, it would be uncomfortable if they didn’t tell them, so they adopted the method of “chewing the tongue” to confide these secrets and let the pressure of secrets be released.
Finally, and most importantly, is the need for intimacy. People live in the world. Everyone is lonely. They want to be recognized and accepted by others, and they have a longing for friendship. In general, the development of friendship will go through the stages of joint activities and secret sharing. In essence, the person who “chews the tongue” hopes to use the means of sharing other people’s secrets to increase the friendship with the listener and promote the relationship. However, what needs to be explained is that the sharing of secrets in the development of friendship includes not only the sharing of secrets by others in the early stage, but also the further exposure of own secrets. However, those who are willing to “chew the tongue”, of course, are also eager to see friendship, but they often stop at the stage of sharing the secrets of others. They are good at sharing the secrets of others, but are unwilling to expose their own secrets. The result is precisely us. What I have seen in life is that even if the “tongue chewing” people get friendship, it is a shallow friendship. They cannot communicate with others more deeply. This is really the distress of the “tongue chewing” people. True friend.
In life, a person who is willing to “chew the tongue” is often a person who has not a high degree of success in life and is thirsty for friendship but is difficult to obtain true friendship. Therefore, I advise those who “chew the tongue”, “Sit quietly and think about yourself, chat and talk about others”; those who instigate separation often throw a rock on themselves in the foot.
Improve your own quality
The old saying goes that no harm is allowed. Thinking about others may be able to relax and enjoy yourself temporarily, but in the long run, it hurts others and leaves a curse. The harm is immeasurable. Therefore, we must start from improving our own moral quality, improve our own civilization level, and get rid of the “long tongue woman” psychology.
Enrich one’s hobby
Seeking normal psychological satisfaction is an effective way to eliminate back talk.
Cut one’s curiosity
To learn to treat all kinds of gossips that you encounter with a normal heart and reduce your curiosity in this regard, then you will lose your interest in gossip about leading colleagues, neighbors, and friends.
As a human being, you must learn to be kind to others, consciously pay attention to your own behavior, consider what unnecessary trouble your words and deeds will bring to others, and try to consider the topic from the perspective of others. In many cases, you need to remain silent, read more books, and talk less gossip, because “misfortune comes from the mouth” and “silence is golden”.