There is no lack of such a group of people in life, they are sensitive and introverted, they are not good at talking, they are not generous enough to deal with others, they are always cowering and very nervous. These are likely to suffer from social phobia. So what is social phobia? How should social phobia be relieved?
Social phobia is mainly manifested by excessive and unreasonable fear of external things or situations. The patient knows that this fear response is excessive or unreasonable, but it still recurs and is difficult to control.
Social phobias can be divided into two main categories:
One is called “general social phobia”, that is, no matter what kind of social situation you are in, you are afraid of being noticed, afraid of being introduced to strangers, and even afraid of making eye contact with people.
The other type is “special social phobia”, that is, fear of certain special situations or occasions, such as fear of speaking in public.
People with more serious social fears are not only eager to get the attention and approval of others, but also afraid that others will pay attention to themselves, see their own shortcomings and shortcomings, and fear that others will look down on themselves. Therefore, ideological contradictions and psychological conflicts are formed.
In severe cases, there will be a certain degree of auditory hallucinations and visual hallucinations, as if hearing or seeing someone talking, looking down, or laughing at oneself. But I feel deeply pained and appear self-blame and guilty.
People with more serious social fears have low evaluations of themselves, always pay too much attention to their own shortcomings and shortcomings, and compare their own shortcomings with the strengths of others to defeat themselves. And when the requirements for oneself are high, when they do not well, fail to do or make mistakes, they will severely criticize themselves, blame themselves, sin, and will have a certain degree of shame and guilt.
Social phobia is very harmful, it will reduce work efficiency and reduce the body’s immunity. In severe cases, it will not be able to live and work normally.
Here are some ways to overcome timidity and social fear for your reference.
01 Accept yourself
Accept yourself. Don’t deny yourself, and remind yourself “I am who I am, and I don’t have to be like others”. Don’t demand yourself, and do whatever you can. As long as you try your best, it doesn’t matter if the result is not satisfactory.
If you don’t remember the unpleasant past, let him pass the past. There is nothing more important than the present. Accepting oneself can start by stopping being critical, criticizing, and condemning oneself, no longer demanding oneself, and no longer eager to escape from negative emotions. After facing the truth, I often find that the facts are not as terrible as before.
02 Cognitive reconstruction
Don’t always assume that people will comment on you. Most people are mainly concerned about themselves and the things around them, and they don’t have time to entertain your behavior. During the conversation, everyone would say something out of place from time to time. Don’t think that the embarrassing situation and cold spots are entirely your responsibility, and don’t feel guilty because of the negative factors in the conversation. There will always be untimely things happen, there will definitely be cold spots, these are all normal, continue to be yourself.
We can refute these “self-defeating” perceptions in this way and objectively measure the basis for supporting or opposing these concepts:
Catastrophic thoughts: They will all see that I am not talkative and stupid.
Support for this idea: I always don’t know what to say, and I feel nervous when talking with people.
The basis for opposing the idea: It is not a mistake to say less, and the people around me are still very friendly to me.
Revised belief: They will not look down on me just because of my nervousness. Even though sometimes they are a little clumsy, most people don’t care.
When people lose the ability to look at things objectively and only focus on the present, instead of looking at the overall situation, catastrophic thoughts are easy to produce. At this time, the above “cognitive reconstruction technology” is very helpful to the establishment of our adaptive cognition.
03 Visual Imagination
In addition to cognitive technology, “visual imagination” technology can also be used.
Generally speaking, it means to gradually expose ourselves to fearful situations, and use a gentle way to let us face our fearful situations.
At the beginning, it is best to lie down and take a moment to relax your body;
Then, use your imagination to “practice” in your mind: imagine that you have walked into a social occasion; when you see yourself speaking, you can speak clearly, look natural, confident, and not hurried; others also listen to yourself attentively conversation.
Practice this imagination every day and combine it with “cognitive reconstruction techniques”.
This can help us stay calm when we are actually speaking and significantly reduce our anxiety levels.
04 Training social skills
You can also practice some social skills.
You can learn some basic social skills through books, online courses, etc., such as eye contact, voice intonation, posture and posture. You can also observe how others interact with others, and then apply these skills in practice, and constantly adjust and improve your social skills.
Such exercises can reduce anxiety in social situations and get more positive responses, as well as feedback on social behaviors and opportunities to practice new skills.
Finally, understand this: Don’t be afraid to let others down. We cannot satisfy everyone’s wishes at any time and under any circumstances. So, as long as we do our best, then we don’t have to mind what others think or think. As long as we do not worry about gains or losses and let go of excessive demands on ourselves, then you can also interact with others easily and naturally.