May 17, 2021

When being misunderstood, the last thing you should do is explain

Misunderstanding is a headache for a while

I remember when I was in middle school, I was too late to go back at night. Li Zi always came up and said, wow, so hard. I will also politely return to the last sentence, no, I haven’t finished my homework. Li Zi lay on the bed and turned around at random with a book, still mumbling, is it efficient to keep learning without rest. I will not return because I know in my heart that I know my situation better.

There are often such types of people in life, who always like to spoof in your ear, intentionally or unintentionally, “What do you do with your eyesight so high”, “Can you not blindly follow the crowd before choosing?”, “You believe what other people say is true”… It always sounds like he fully understands what you think.

If you are so fast, you may come back to the last sentence at this time, you know it, do you need you to chat there? It is usually certain that this kind of person’s brain turns faster and is more straightforward. Will not let myself suffer any wrongdoing.

However, the result is that you, like the other party, will be caught in a chattering argument until one party compromises. But in fact, the compromising party will not really be convinced because of your excuses, just because a small argument will eventually need to end.



It is often difficult for people to change their perceptual perception of one thing in a short period of time.

When an ugly person tells you that she has many admirers, you must be skeptical. If at this time, she is anxious and frustrated with you, and her momentum is not weak, you may avoid it for a while. But if she didn’t say anything, but after a long time, you will gradually find that she does have many suitors, you will be convinced.

If you hear something that misunderstands you, you might as well consider it more and choose to be silent. On the contrary, the other party will feel annoyed because you are ignored. Even if he is not irritated, it will make you more happy than the result of arguing with him.

In fact, you only need to analyze why others misunderstood you, and naturally you don’t want to argue again.

The nature of the misunderstood situation cannot escape the following categories:

01. He imposes his own thoughts on you, that is, he thinks what he thinks is what you think.

For example, “Don’t think that if others praise you for being beautiful, you really think you are beautiful.” Someone once said this to me, but I actually cared about it at the time. After all, everyone is a group of people, and we all want to be recognized. However, due to the relationship between friends, I did not respond to anything, and did not immediately defend my true thoughts.



When others praise me, I know in my heart that this is just out of courtesy. I responded to thank you, just to respect the politeness of others, not because I am complacent because I get praise from others. My own looks, I think I should know better than anyone else.

As a bystander, you came forward to misunderstand me, telling me not to trust others’ praise, simply because you think I am not beautiful, and my self-understanding is not clear yet. This is a typical imposing idea.

This kind of situation is very common, that is, others have already made a judgment on a matter in advance. The result of the judgment is not determined by the matter itself. From a macro perspective, it can be considered to be caused by a person’s cognition and thinking habits, and this habit is accumulated and cultivated for a long time. Do you think you have the ability to pass a few sentences and let him change his habits for years?

Therefore, the current explanation is not helpful for restoring his prejudice, nor can it change much. On the contrary, it hurts the harmony, and makes people deepen the degree of negation of you, and at the same time increases the grudge in your heart.

02. He knows the facts, but he wants to show another kind of appearance.

This situation is also more common. For example, a person knows that you are working hard, but wants to tell you that your efforts are ineffective.

When I was in middle school, there was a classmate, Ahui, who looked very clever and hardworking. But she has a habit of asking people how much homework they have done at home every week when she returns to school. Once, she looked through my practice collection and praised me a lot, saying that I must have been studying when I went home to do so many exercises, saying that I worked very hard.

Then, she took out her own practice set and obviously did more than me. I was very unconvinced and asked, why do you praise me for doing so much? She said, because she didn’t spend much time. I was puzzled and asked her if she was scolding me for being stupid. She said no. Everyone had different requirements for themselves. I could only turn my head and ignore her.



I still moved forward bit by bit like a snail, and indeed only passed the provincial weight test, she was admitted to the national weight as she wished. Then, every time I met her, she asked me if I was very good at our school, saying that she was under too much pressure in the country. I comforted her and said that I am not so good, telling her that she is motivated only when she is under pressure, and let her adjust her mentality.

Later, I rarely met, and later I heard that her exam results were not ideal, and in the end she didn’t even pass the undergraduate entrance exam. When I met again a few years later, she said that in fact, she always felt that only by walking slowly step by step could she go further, and she had no chance.

To be honest, at that time, I didn’t feel well in my heart. I felt that if Ahui was more steadfast and had a better mentality, he should be able to enter a good university.

When a person has a sense of crisis because of your efforts, he will use words to express his unhappiness. If you are angry at this time and bite you with him and you are not what he said, then you are likely to change. As he said. Therefore, silence may be the best choice at this time. One day, time will help you prove everything, as long as you be patient, wait!

3. He really can’t understand you.

Since he really cannot understand you, what else do you want to prove. Playing the piano against cattle is not a wise move. One day, he will grow up, so let him go~~

Time is the best explanation tool, and it happens to be owned by everyone. Action is the best way to explain it, and it happens to be something everyone can do. With the best tools and the best way, the only thing you need to do is to control the speed of your tongue. Your ability to act will naturally increase. If you don’t believe it, you can try.

Finally, let me tell you something quietly. When time has repeatedly proved my past misunderstandings, I feel quite happy!