“The only way to win a friendship is to show others kindness first.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The girl told me of her distress yesterday. “How can I make the friendship last?” She was so eager to know the answer.
“I am easy-going, well-dressed, and like to do things with friends. Why is no one willing to stay with me?” she said.
“Then what have you done to maintain friendship?” I asked.
“Do you mean maintaining friendship? Oh, I don’t think friendship should be so difficult. They should be, um… yes, unfettered.”
Then we might have to do something to make friendship easy and happy. This naive girl has more than 500 friends on Facebook, but in reality there is no one who can watch movies with her. She really doesn’t understand why. In fact, what she doesn’t understand is the basic reality of friendship: it is relatively easy to make a new friend (especially on Facebook), but it is difficult to always fulfill the responsibilities between friends.
True friends will be responsible for each other in the most suitable way, and when they become friends, they will accept each other’s trust with gratitude for this friendship and integrity. Therefore, friendship requires us to invest time and energy, but also to care about the needs and wishes of our friends as we care about our own affairs. The reward for this friendship is a lifetime of wealth and spiritual food.
I said to the girl: “Imagine. You know your car, if you maintain the car, will it run better. Of course, this is not a simple maintenance, but the past The minor issues are used as the main daily maintenance, such as oil changes. Right? When you do this, you can drive your car and let it take you wherever you want.”
“The same is true for friendship. You need to carefully manage and maintain friendships to last, rather than let them fend for themselves. You must resolve small frictions before conflicts intensify. Of course, you should also do something to make your friendship last. For example, keep in touch with friends, do some thoughtful things, be grateful for your friends’ kindness, don’t take it for granted. When you do this, your friends will be dependable and you will become an important part of their lives.”
The following dating guide has seven ways to maintain friendship:
1. Keep in touch
Don’t lose contact between good friends because of the passage of time. In addition to long conversations, you should also greet each other with text messages, postcards, and emails from time to time. This is how friends integrate into our lives in ordinary ways. When they are trying to understand our lives, you should look for opportunities as much as possible to share the joy and touch of life with them. Yes, some friends have lost contact for many years, but we can still continue the unfinished friendship with them. During this time, they and their partners can look for opportunities to enhance the friendship that they missed in those years.
2. Don’t compare
Friends don’t have to worry about why they called you or invited you last, and don’t compare who gave the most expensive birthday gifts. But looking at everything from a long-term perspective, they are likely to use unexpected ways to maintain the balance of friendship. When I was chatting with that girl, I learned that she never invites her friends to go for a walk on the beach, because she hopes that her friends can take the initiative to invite her to do something better. You see! When people are unable to help or invite friends or even call in time, there are always many legitimate reasons to comfort me. Of course, sometimes the life of friends is just smoother than others. They may have more leisure, more money and even more opportunities than their friends in a period of time. But the so-called friendship is not to make everything equal in life.
3. Equality and respect
What good friends feel is equality and respect. When a friendship develops well, friends will become intimate. They will share each other’s experiences, listen to each other, and be honest. Even if they find that the other person is smarter than themselves, they will not feel inferior. Because they do not feel superior when they share insights, no one will distinguish between noble and inferior friends. A true friend is going hand in hand side by side.
Friendship requires loyalty. Friends cannot talk about each other’s deficiencies in front of others, nor can they spread rumors and gossip that would hurt friends. Therefore, we should help each other instead of worrying about friends being slandered in the back. Even if a good friend knows each other’s weaknesses and shortcomings so easily, they can still accept it. Because they care for each other, they will be loyal to each other.
5. Remember their birthdays
Little things are also important. Good friends should be considerate. Remember the important things that happened in your friends’ lives, and express your condolences in a certain way. They celebrate the seemingly ordinary holidays with their friends, and they often use small things to show friendship. For example, stop working and put a cup of coffee on their desk, or say thoughtfully, “You are great!” when they finish their work.
6. Resolve conflicts
Conflict is inevitable in interpersonal communication. Friends can’t let small problems swell into big contradictions. They should give each other full trust and carefully maintain their friendship even when they disagree. This means that even if conflicts occur in the future, they should be resolved in time instead of being left alone.
7. Become a fan of friends
A true friend will feel the same joy when celebrating an achievement for a friend. They will let each other know how much they admire each other. They appreciate the admirable things done by each other, and they will encourage each other to grow hard and applaud each other.
The golden rule runs through
The “Golden Rule” will win you long-term friends. They treat their friends with heart, as they wish to be treated. They discover the strengths of their friends, help them fight and accept them regardless of their identity. Together they maintain and manage their friendship.
All of this requires thinking, time, cooperation, affirmation and dedication. Even though we have hundreds of “netizens” on Facebook, so many people are only a few special people who actually enter our lives. That is our best friend. They share the journey of our life together and enrich the color of our life in some special ways. So dear friends are like things we cherish. Let’s maintain friendship! That way, there will be different fun. In return, we will also reap a happy friendship that lasts forever.