Unwilling to associate with hypocritical people around
Don’t like people who are familiar
Hate all social life
I can’t get in when there are too many people
You are sick, a disease called social phobia
Social fear is often mentioned
So what kind of experience is it?
Let’s understand together
You take one step away from me
I will take the initiative to leave you 99 steps
If you walk one step towards me
I can walk 999 steps to you
Anyway, you close the door louder
I think you hate me
You take the initiative to befriend me
I’ll treat you well
If i realize you don’t like me
I don’t even bother to do the face project
Ignore face to face
I feel the other party is leaving
I will choose to leave first
Never know how to write the two words to stay
You go, don’t come back if you leave
You haven’t answered me for a long time
I just wonder if you think I’m annoying
I’m always there
But if you take a step away
The distance of this step will always exist
It just feels a bit cracked
Just don’t want the whole thing
“Ah, should you say this?”
“I said he will be angry”
” forget it. I’m done here”
Then it was cold
Don’t try to test
Leave one step and wait for me to chase you
Because you look back
There must be more between us
You just have to say something and you go
I won’t stay much
It’s hard to send a word in the group
No one cares, never talk again
You speak loudly to me
I feel you hate me
Not replying for a long time is annoying me
But as long as you get closer to me
I am also someone who can walk 99 steps
After watching everyone, have you checked in?
How do I feel I was shot too
In fact, this is not surprising
We are in this complex and complicated information society, and we face a lot of social interactions every day. Modern people are more or less suffering from different degrees of social phobia. Go and search on Weibo, and you will find that people are really anxious and uneasy about social pressure:
Social phobia, also called social phobia, is an unnatural fear response, which is produced when there is no stimulus that constitutes a danger or threat. It is an “inexplicable” response.
Social phobia is mainly manifested as symptoms such as fear of interacting with people, not daring to interact with people, etc. It mainly occurs in people with depressive temperament. They usually have some inferiority complex or shyness at the beginning, and they are always cringed and worried.
For mild social phobia, mastering some small skills can relieve or even cure itself.
1. Remove inferiority complex and enhance self-confidence
Psychologically remove inferiority complex. If you have a negative mind, you will often make yourself reluctant to talk more. In addition, it is necessary to enhance self-confidence. From a psychological point of view, self-confidence is the degree of self-acceptance. A person who can fully accept himself is very self-confident, otherwise he is inferior.
2. Overcome fear
Social phobia is mainly caused by a kind of “fear” psychology, such as fear of seeing strangers, fear of embarrassment, fear of expressing oneself, etc. This disease is formed in many years of daily life, work, and study. Therefore, prevention and treatment needs to gradually cultivate the ability to adapt to the outside world in the long-term daily life, work and study, and consciously contact people and things around.
3. Be as easy-going as possible
Don’t pay too much attention to your behavior. Normal social activities do not contain any mystery, but are only social interactions and entertainment between people. Therefore, it is superfluous to pay too much attention to your own speech and behavior in social interaction. It is easy-going, generous, natural, and how you usually say and do it. The same is true in social interaction. After a long time, you will get used to it.
Some people with social phobia do not heal for a long time and gradually lose the idea of interacting with others.Even if they participate in a few interactions occasionally, they will show more serious adverse emotional reactions, and even panic involuntarily, accompanied by accelerated heartbeat. Physiological reactions such as shortness of breath, body shaking, etc. are typical of a trembling and frightened appearance. At this time, if you don’t pay attention to overcoming your own psychological barriers and turn to a professional psychopsychiatrist, you may turn from inferiority complex and shyness to more serious social phobia.
Experts teach you some practical skills, you can try to do it:
1. Relax and prepare
Few people think that worry is automatic, but it really is. Repeated intense worry about the upcoming social scene will link the event to anxiety. This is why when you do enter social situations, you feel anxious. You have programmed in your brain.
You can try to spend some time (soak in a hot bath, sit in a comfortable chair, imagine seeing yourself in a relaxed and confident state), to relax and consider a future party, so you can start to reverse this trend . Doing it over and over allows your body and brain to establish a new and better automatic link to those scenes.
2. Look for social scenes
Imagine you lived in a house for three years, but never entered one of the houses. After that, when you really venture into that mysterious room, you may feel some tension and anxiety. The more we avoid something, the more it will send a message to our unconscious: “That is dangerous, so I have to avoid it.”
In nature, we will avoid the bushes because there are lions there, or we will stay away from the edge of the cliff because we will fall to death if we fall. Your brain will try to help you, and it will have more fear of what you are avoiding.
3. Observe your surroundings
People with social anxiety will focus on their internal feelings. Some studies have found that those who judged that they are socially shy have worse memories of the details of their surroundings because they are only looking inward, not outward.
Therefore, focusing more on looking outwards can reduce anxiety. When you are in a social scene, take the following three psychological notes:
What is the color of the wall?
What is the picture on the wall? What does it contain?
What kind of clothes are everyone else wearing?
Social phobia is more than just embarrassment
4. Ask questions
Social fear always makes us worry about what others think of us instead of paying attention to others. Cultivate your own curiosity and ask others with open-ended questions (that is, not asking questions whose answer is “yes” or “no”). Then remember what they said about the main points, and point them out to prove that you are interested in them.
These will force you to turn your attention from inward to outward, which will also make the other person feel good. As an added benefit of this strategy, it means that you may accidentally make more friends. Therefore, to overcome social fears is to take more new attempts while stopping as many old behaviors as possible.
5. Turn off your imagination
Your imagination is a magical thing. If you can use it reasonably, it can be a huge help. But if you use it to scare yourself, it’s like washing the dishes with a hammer. Try to imagine that people think you are a person to associate with.
Years of public speaking experience taught me to stop evaluating how others perceive me. If you find yourself using “mind reading”, then tell yourself: “I really don’t know who is thinking now!” Because this is the truth. We can influence what others think of us, but we cannot control it.
6. What do you want?
Your brain needs positive instructions, not “I hope I don’t feel fear as usual” (it’s like someone asks you for directions and you tell you where they don’t want to go). Ask yourself: “What is the feeling I want in those situations”, and develop a new habit for this.
Set a “goal feeling” for yourself by observing how you feel comfortable with others (old friends, or trusted family members). In this way, you can allow your brain to perform the same patterns in situations that make you comfortable in social situations.
7. Be yourself
Part of social fear treatment is to teach patients to stay relaxed enough to be able to show their imperfections. That’s right! People who stay relaxed and are ready to make a fool of themselves tend to show more social confidence. For example: Humor is risky, because it may only cause a silent silence.
The key point of social fear is that we pay too much attention to other people’s thoughts, trying to show a perfect state naturally, but it makes us appear blunt and unnatural.