When you judge, you divert your attention from yourself to others. By focusing on the outside, you prevent yourself from noticing what is happening inside yourself.
1. Judging others is a loss of power
Judging others is a way to try to change the world, or to rearrange it so that it gets your approval. It is a bleeding of energy, or a loss of strength. You give strength to the people and situations you judge, and they occupy your mind and attention. They fascinate you, like a movie that takes your attention.
When you judge others, you forget who you are, your goals and your wishes, and more importantly, you forget how you feel.
2. A movie directed by you in your heart when judging
The impulse to judge others is like a movie ticket for a movie that you have already watched but still attracts you. When you act on that impulse, you enter the cinema. In this movie, you are superior to others, and you have the power to impose your will on them. In fact, your attention doesn’t care what they think and feel, and you are not interested in their struggle or achievements at all. Their past and future are not important to you, and you do not regard them as colleagues or companions in the earth school, or even as independent individuals. You only see the places that disgust you and make you uncomfortable.
3. Behind the impulse to judge is the inner pain
The urge to judge is bred by inner pain. It is not just an impulse in the heart. Behind the impulse to judge is a physical pain, which is extremely uncomfortable to experience. So you often don’t experience it, but act and judge under the impulse. Your focus is on the behaviors you don’t like, the clothes that make you unpleasant, a voice that is too high or too soft, and you label others.
Most people don’t realize that behind the urge to judge others and a certain situation is physical pain. When they look at others or get angry at others, they hide their discomfort. Trigger them to feel the discomfort, become familiar with it, and challenge it, otherwise they will always compulsively challenge others and the environment.
4. Feel the pain of judging
Remember when you judged a person and are judging now. What did you think of him or her back then? Now?
Scan your energy system. What are your physical feelings and what part of your body are they? Allow yourself to feel the pain you want to hide when judging others. Be gentle with yourself.
When a person agrees to change themselves to fit your standards, the relaxation you get is only temporary. The need to change the world and others-the need for judgment-does not originate from the external world. It is the product of internal imbalance. Until this imbalance is corrected, that need will always exist.
Indulging in an obsessive-compulsive disorder is like taking painkillers. How many tablets did you eat today? How many tablets did you eat yesterday? How many tablets did you eat last year? If every time you judge others as taking a tablet of painkiller, how many bottles have you already taken? If you take that many The pain is suppressed, so how painful you should be now?
The real problem is not the pain, but what caused it. Until the cause is discovered, it is impossible to permanently eliminate the pain, and the obsessive-compulsive disorder will continue. Treating the symptoms cannot cure its cause. The first step to free from this destructiveness is to be aware of your pain and where it occurs, that is, how and where your energy system processes energy.
When you are still taking painkillers, it is difficult to be aware of your physical pain. So first stop taking painkillers. Especially judging this painkiller. The effect is immediate. You don’t have to wait until the last pill is gone. When you stop compulsively judging, you will immediately feel what invisible pain makes this obsessive-compulsive disorder. To stop this impulse means to stop what you are doing (judgment) and to feel what you are feeling. If you don’t feel anything, be patient. The pain is there. If your urge to judge is still there, if you continue to see things that dislike you around you and others, you will know that the pain is still there.
5. Be patient with yourself, step by step
If you feel uncomfortable and start to judge, then be patient with yourself and take it step by step. The feeling of relaxing and entering the body. For you, this field may be new, but it has always existed since you were born. Your compulsive judgment is a plant that has always grown there. Stopping this impulse to judge is like weeding in this area. Becoming conscious of your inner experience-including your physical pain-is the first step in uprooting this plant.
6. When you judge others, you are also judging yourself
You try to avoid the pain of being judged by judging others. This complicated way is to avoid looking at the qualities that you cannot admire yourself. Thinking of yourself also makes you feel pain or humiliation, you can’t even imagine it is true. You are very concerned about these qualities. When you see a quality in someone else, you immediately recognize them, and you will be angry, unhappy, fearful or disappointed at that person. This is the real source of judgment.
If you really don’t possess the qualities that make you despise so much, you won’t have an emotional reaction to them. You will only see these deceptions, greed, desires, insensitivity and other deficiencies in their true colors, and react naturally. You will not trust an untrustworthy person, and you will not expect sensitivity from an insensitive person. You will do these things effortlessly. Your strong emotional response to certain specific qualities is a signal. When you receive a signal—that is, when you judge—you know that you see in others qualities that you haven’t found in yourself.
7. The more repellent they are, the more they become worse
If you don’t have to see that you have the same qualities as the person you strongly judge, you will become angry, disappointed, and contemptuous when you see them. The more you reject them, the more they become worse. At the same time, you become more critical of the same qualities in others. Those who make you unhappy will continue to appear in your life or continue to return to your life. You will continue to judge them until you finally realize that your dissatisfaction with the classmates of Earth School is your strong judgment of yourself. Then you will change these qualities of yourself.
8. Be a sensitive, not a critic
Can you accept the possibility that your strong judgment of others is your strong judgment of what you do or want to do? If you can accept it, you will have a surprise. You will begin to sympathize with others instead of rebuke them. You will become a sensitive person rather than a critic. Before you feel your own pain, you cannot understand the pain of others. When you are fully aware of your own pain, you can also be aware of the pain of others.
Judging others is like focusing your attention very narrowly and removing it from what you need to see because you don’t want to see it. You are more willing to use it to illuminate those images that are not painful-that is, you perceive the inadequacy of others, the injustice of the universe. Everything else is hidden in the darkness, including the source of pain that brings you this perception.
Judgment prevents you from expressing yourself to yourself and others. It is a soft barrier. Judgment is like a continuous attack on others or the universe, but what you are really fighting against is your own painful experience.
Judgment prevents intimacy and affection in intimate relationships. It is a defense against fear, it is a sense of inadequacy. Judgment is a preemptive attack on what you want most-intimacy and acceptance. You are the first to attack before you get rejected.
Every judgment is a catharsis of fear and the painful experience of fear. When you are constantly judging, what you release is a river of energy. You could have used these energy to complete the meaningful and satisfying construction of your own life. Until you can heal the pain that created your judgment, you will not stop judging others, yourself, and the universe. And this requires your awareness of pain.