We often envy the colleagues and friends around us, why he can speak so well, while we are incoherent and even blushing in a strange environment or in front of important people we think. This issue of “Speaking Skills” teaches you the most practical speaking skills, allowing you to easily talk and laugh with others.
Have you ever encountered such a situation? You can talk freely when you are with friends, but when you call in front of your colleagues, you stutter, not to mention the incoherent language of reporting at company meetings. In fact, there are many people like this. When they are with familiar friends, they can say nothing, but when they meet strangers, they will be unable to say anything, giving people the illusion of “quiet”. Or when they see authority, elders, and bosses, they become speechless. For this reason, many people fall into a vicious circle of speechlessness—anxious—more anxious—more speechless.
These 4 situations must be avoided!
We found that it is not that the goal is achieved by saying something, and it is better not to say some words.
Everyone has a sensitive antenna, which can detect your intention and state of speaking. If you speak only for the sake of speaking, it will interfere with others’ magnetic fields. People will perfuse you, or simply appear impatient. This will increase the number of times you fail and the difficulty of speaking next time. So to say or not, you still have to follow your own feelings.
Anxious and nervous when speaking, the more nervous you are, the more you want to behave well, but the more nervous you are. When you are not ready, it may be more appropriate to remain silent. Nervousness is contagious. If the other person does not have enough patience for you, he will also become angry and anxious, which will make your conversation fall apart.
When the time is not right, when everyone is very happy, you go to disappointment; or when people are depressed, you talk about your luck and will be out of tune with the present. It’s like burying a seed in the soil, and the season is right to blossom and bear fruit. Your speech must fit the atmosphere of the moment, otherwise you would rather close your mouth.
The dull people who say things different from their own personality suddenly want to be humorous, the silent people suddenly nagging, and those who don’t understand basketball insist on joining the NBA discussion, which always makes people feel weird. Everyone has their own characteristics, and there is no need to walk in Handan. To speak well, accept yourself is the most basic condition.
Who makes your language short circuit?
Many people are annoyed that they cannot behave calmly in every situation, and they really don’t understand where they are stuck. Compared with the following situations, it is estimated that there will always be one or even a few suitable for you
A. Pursuit of perfection, fear of making mistakes.
B. A strong defensive and alert heart.
C. Shadow effect, lack of security.
D. Single hobby.
E. Slow-hot personality.
F. Phased physiological response.
A Some people are praised all the way, so in order to gain the approval of others, he is accustomed to let himself not talk, and let people not make mistakes. Given such a high standard, it is inevitable that there will be mistakes in implementation. As long as he is corrected or ridiculed once, he will accumulate tension factors next time and create many psychological barriers for the speaker.
B Most people will self-correct as they grow up, distinguishing when they can say what and when they cannot. But there are always some people who bury their defense against others in their subconsciousness. Their consciousness hopes to communicate smoothly with others, but their subconsciousness always makes the brake sound of “misfortune comes from the mouth”. Performance is tangled, twisting what I think and do.
C. Children who were severely disciplined by their parents or teachers in their childhood will subconsciously dare not speak in front of leaders and authorities. And the child who is compared by siblings always has a sense of inferiority in the face of peers, or he has been deceived by strangers, so he will no longer talk to others casually, and he must have a sufficient sense of security before releasing his heart. armor.
D If you only like tomatoes, then you won’t have the same conversation when you meet friends who like other vegetables. Many people find that they feel like outsiders in an environment. Colleagues discuss topics that they are not interested in. No one seems to respond to what they are interested in. Whenever everyone got together to chat, he couldn’t put his mouth in. He always felt left out and felt very uncomfortable.
E. Your integration with the environment is slower. For example, from unfamiliar to familiar, it may take more than a year for people to use it for a month. We can often find this kind of friend around us: a silent person, suddenly one day likes to joke, let everyone admire. It’s not that he has changed, but that he was originally like this, but the cycle of changing channels is longer.
F Regardless of women and men, there are always so many days a month that they are too lazy to talk. Or if you are tired and lack of energy during this period, it will hinder the function of language. Emotion is also a pointer. In life and work, everything goes smoothly, and there will be more words. On the contrary, if you want to walk around Maicheng, it is hard to say even if you want to say it.
It is necessary to care about others if you want to get together quickly. First of all, we must understand the temperament of others, and secondly, what has happened recently and what needs are there.
Super practical! 7 tricks to make you clever tongue”
Now that you have the willingness to speak, you must start to do your homework. Each method may seem simple, but it actually requires you to make continuous efforts, because changing habits is the most difficult.
1. Cultivate more hobbies The more hobbies you have, the more topics you will share with others. No matter what people say, you are very interested. If you are interested in the topic, you are halfway into the environment. Even if they meet leaders and authorities, they are still human beings, and they have their own interests. So in addition to a wide range of hobbies, we must also learn to observe and see what others are interested in.
2. People who take off their disguised masks and pursue perfection mostly live with masks, with a glamorous surface and a very tired heart, keeping a long distance from others. When it is smooth, all the words spoken are social and very technical. Once you feel that there will be a mistake, just stop talking. People who live a real life dare to expose their shortcomings. They have no distance from others, and the channel of language is unimpeded, but those small shortcomings make people feel vivid and amiable.
3. The little things that love life’s clothing, food, shelter, flowers, plants, fish and insects, every detail in life, make people feel at ease and alive. Life removes the external titles and achievements given to us, so that everyone is on a platform and feels the love given by nature. When it comes to life, there are countless topics. Talking is kind and natural. The reason why many people don’t know what to say is because they lack a solid foundation in life. Either their brains are blank, or their brains are full of metaphysical things.
4. Care is better than everything. If you are just entangled in things and in theory, the conversation will appear dry and boring. Especially when everyone is talking about people-related topics, you obviously can’t talk. It is necessary to care about others if you want to get along with others quickly. First of all, we must understand the temperament of others, and secondly, what has happened recently and what needs are there. Speaking to tell the needs of others, there will naturally be a positive response, and the topic will unfold.
5. Get out of the shadows of the past Those problems that we have been frustrated and have not handled well will become stumbling blocks in the future. Taking some time to deal with these hidden dangers is to clear the language channel, instead of letting these stubborn diseases pop up from time to time. You can find the instigator, such as Father Yan who once cast a shadow on you, talk to him about your feelings, and let the ice slowly melt away. In addition, you can also ask a counselor to guide you out of the vicious circle in a professional way.
6. Learn body language. Many friends feel anxious about their inability to express smoothly on certain occasions, as if they must say something to be normal. In fact, this “what must be done” itself has created obstacles to language communication. In many occasions, an understanding listener is actually needed. Although you do not speak, your posture, expression, and eyes are full of attention and understanding. Such silent behavior can achieve the purpose of effective communication better than words.
7. There are many ways to find strangers to practice speaking. Some people like to talk to the tree, and some people use the chair at home as a leader to practice communication. You can also go to the streets and find real people to practice speaking. On the street and in the park, there are many people of all kinds. Because they don’t know each other, even if they fail, it doesn’t matter. Chat with the old man by the river, ask the clothing vendor about the business, and take the initiative to say hello to the person from the company next door in the elevator, telling her that her shoes are very good-looking, and they are the ones you have been looking for. As more and more people come into contact, speaking does not become a problem.