Since human beings have existed on the earth, they have inevitably formed contacts with others. In real life, people inevitably have to deal with all kinds of people. In particular, women in the office may need to talk to important people, may express their opinions in public, and may appear in various social venues such as negotiations, receptions, and dinners.
However, you always involuntarily retreat, or bite the bullet, but let the great opportunity slip away because of your gaffe. You are upset and regretful, but when the next opportunity reappears, you start to be timid, hesitant, flustered, and hand trembling again. Over time, your self-confidence is exhausted in the embarrassment.
Social phobia is a comprehensive psychological disorder characterized by anxiety, fear and autism. Mainly manifested as: self-closed, afraid to make friends, afraid of socializing; having social desires but not being satisfied, resulting in anxiety and loneliness; not daring to face setbacks, thus escaping from reality, feeling that there is only one hiding in nobody The place is safe.
But the manifestation of social phobia is not just being at a loss when facing strangers, but also being unable to call in public, not drinking with people in public, not meeting with strangers alone, and not being able to work under someone watching. And other more extreme behaviors. When such feelings of fear and anxiety appear, they are often accompanied by symptoms such as palpitation, tremor, sweating, and difficulty breathing.
According to statistics, an average of 1 in 10 people suffers from social phobia, but few see a doctor. Many patients suffer from mental illnesses such as alcohol addiction, drug addiction, or depression due to long-term interpersonal disorders and social loss. We have to deal with people every day, how can we isolate ourselves?
Causes of social phobia:
①Physiological reasons. The famous American professor of psychiatry, Mr. David Xihan, said that the onset of social phobia is due to the imbalance of a chemical substance called “serotonin” in the human body. This substance is responsible for transmitting information to the nerve cells of the brain. Too much or too little of this substance can cause people’s fear;
②Psychological reasons. People with social phobias generally have strong self-esteem, are afraid of being rejected by others, or have no confidence in their appearance;
③Family reasons. Personality was suppressed since childhood, or the parents did not teach them social skills, or the family moved too frequently;
④Social reasons. The social environment he lives in is relatively bad, and most of the frustrations are encountered when interacting with people.
⑤ Way of thinking. Personality is actually an external manifestation of a person’s own way of thinking, and incorrect thinking style creates social phobia. For example, the excessive self-reflection brought about by the excessive perfectionists after being hit, every social phobia patient should have a full understanding of “self” (id, ego, superego…).
From the perspective of psychoanalysis based on humanism, the causes of social phobia are mainly as follows:
1. Always unable to get out of the quagmire repeated in the past
In fact, social phobia is often not a sudden, but a long-term formation. It can often be found that these visitors have some maladaptive manifestations since they were young, and there are some potential social problems. These problems have not been solved naturally as they grow up, but they always repeat the old pattern over and over again. Makes visitors very painful. What is going on here?
A metaphor can be used to answer this question. For example, if people have ulcers in their mouths, they will always lick them with their tongues, even if they hurt again, they will always do this. Why? It is to repair it. The process of human growth is the same. The reason why visitors with social problems repeat the old pattern over and over again is because they are thinking: “You might succeed if you do this again!” But doing this again often fails. To get out of the quagmire of repetition in the past, you need to pass psychological counseling, and gradually have a clearer understanding of your own life mode, so that the scars can eventually heal.
2. Why is always depressed
There is an analogy, saying that the human psychology is like an iceberg, with only a small part exposed on it, and the largest part below the water surface. People suppress some things they don’t want to accept into their subconscious mind, just like the part of an iceberg below the water surface. So, what is it that is suppressed? What is suppressed is something that I do not want to face, or even do not realize it at all. These things are suppressed below the surface of the water and play an important role in people’s psychology in secret, which is what people often call the subconscious. Recognizing these subconscious minds, it will no longer manifest itself in the form of symptoms. For visitors who are socially fearful, if they understand all aspects of themselves and make subconscious things come to their consciousness, social fear will improve accordingly.
3. Family influence
The family has an influence on disease. Parental rearing style, family structure, sibling situation, all play a certain role in the occurrence and development of social fear. Children who are always criticized and not loved at home tend to distrust others and have social problems when they grow up. There are many situations that will also affect social issues.
There is another situation. On the surface, visitors are well-adapted to the society, but they lack the ability to establish intimate relationships with people. They can only interact with people on a superficial level. This is a hidden manifestation of not being able to integrate into society. Although this kind of people may not be socially afraid, they also have their own problems socially. This phenomenon is also related to the family he grew up in.
4. Social fear of the client’s cognition and emotions
Psychoanalytic therapy based on humanism pays attention to emotions and works on emotions, which involves cognition as well. Visitors who are socially horrified often have a stronger sense of guilt, and often think that they are not good at this, and that is not good. In short, there is nothing good and feel depressed. But they will think that they are better than anyone in some important aspects, very good, and others are not as good as him. Why is this?
There is an inferiority complex. Because of inferiority, I think I can do nothing; also because of inferiority, I need pride to compensate. There are also many psychological mechanisms that vary from person to person.
The reasons for social fear are very complicated, and here is just an introduction. To solve the problem of social fear, it is also necessary to go to a professional psychologist for formal psychological consultation and treatment.