Heterosexual friendship is a beautiful state. For singles, it is a good thing to heat up to love. For those who already have lovers or are married, we must pay attention to maintaining its “constant temperature”, otherwise it will cause a lot of trouble. , But also be condemned by morality and conscience. Therefore, if you want to maintain a good friendship with the opposite sex, you must:
1. Don’t be passionate.
When associating with friends of the opposite sex, don’t be affectionate. Don’t treat the praise and help of friends of the opposite sex as love for yourself. It is enough to treat them as affirmation and luck for yourself. Being affectionate often hurts others, and closes the door to friendship with the opposite sex. For example, a male engineer and a girl in the laboratory get along very well. The girl often actively and enthusiastically helps the engineer do things. She is married and cannot accept her love. She hopes that she will find a better partner soon. In injustice and shame, the girl left the laboratory. The love of the male engineer hurt the girl, put herself in a ridiculous situation, and desecrated the pure friendship.
2. Don’t be overly attached to heterosexual friends.
Excessive attachment to heterosexual friends. For example, some girls tend to be over-attached to male friends. When they encounter a little difficulty, they ask their friends for help. If they have a little grievance, they confide in their friends. Psychologically, this is a kind of childish psychology that always seeks a sense of security. When I was young, I was overly dependent on my parents and placed the sense of security on my parents; when I grew up, I placed this sense of security on my lovers or friends. Under this kind of psychology, friends of the opposite sex can easily warm up to love and cast a shadow over friendship.
People who are overly attached have the desire to monopolize friends of the opposite sex and do not want the other person to have other close friends. For example, a man who has a cheerful personality and likes to make friends is in distress. He and a female colleague are good friends, or this female colleague is introverted and attached to him too much, causing other colleagues to misunderstand. She objected to him making other female friends. Once she saw him talking and laughing with other women, she would have trouble getting along with him. They had their own families, and he didn’t want to have an extramarital affair, so he had to consider severing his friendship with this female colleague.
3. Keep a psychological distance.
No matter how good the relationship is, friends of the opposite sex should keep their privacy. Keeping a psychological distance will not alienate friends. On the contrary, friendship will be deepened. It is precisely because of a certain psychological distance that it has a sense of mystery and makes friendship more affinity. Establishing a friendship with the lover of a friend of the opposite sex is a good way to maintain psychological distance. This will remind both parties not to forget the existence of their respective lovers.
4. It is not appropriate to conceal, and should be honest with each other.
When interacting with the opposite sex, it is best to let your lover know that since he is a legitimate friend, he should not hide it. If your friend of the opposite sex does not know your lover, you should take the initiative to introduce them to their epistemology. If you have a separate relationship, it is best to tell your lover in advance, otherwise it may cause misunderstanding and affect the relationship between both parties.
5. Should not be too casual.
Too restrictive in the communication between men and women is boring, but it should not be too casual. Behaviors such as laughing and playing, pushing and pulling should be avoided. It is important to know that men and women are different after all. Some topics can only be talked between the same sex, and some jokes should not be messed up in front of the opposite sex. In addition, men and women should pay attention to self-esteem and self-love when communicating with men and women.
6. Dissatisfaction and coldness.
It is necessary for male and female classmates to act wisely, but they should not be too cold. Because this will hurt the other’s self-esteem, and it will also make people feel that you are arrogant, lonely, and inaccessible.
7. Should be warm and generous.
When interacting with friends of the opposite sex, we should pay attention to eliminating the unnaturalness between the opposite sex. Psychologically, we should associate with friends of the opposite sex as friends of the same sex. There should be no pretentiousness and coy, which will make life tired. There should be a difference between married men and women when interacting with the opposite sex. This kind of relationship is pure friendship and does not include the slightest mate selection factor. At this time, the friendship of the opposite sex should be less shy and shy, but warm and generous. Especially at home, treat guests equally.
8. Don’t think about anything wrong, but keep yourself clean.
Don’t be vain and frivolous, playing with other people’s emotions in the name of friendship of the opposite sex. Don’t change your mind, can’t hold your own feelings, can’t resist the temptation of new feelings, and betray your love lightly.
9. Bravely say “no”
When you find that friends of the opposite sex want to surpass friendship, you must be brave enough to say “no”. Don’t accommodate the other’s excessive demands in order to maintain the friendship. If your friend stays away from you because of your refusal, don’t have to be sad, so why don’t you have a friend who has his intentions? But pay attention to the way you say “no”, be moved with affection and reason, and try to avoid hurting the other person. Married people can reject the excessive demands of friends of the opposite sex from the side by mentioning their close relationships.