March 06, 2021

Interpersonal psychology: how to eliminate social phobia?

Socializing is an indispensable activity for everyone in modern life. However, many introverts, especially young women, will feel panic and uneasy in interpersonal interactions, and may experience blushing, sweating, rapid heartbeat, stammering and at a loss. This phenomenon is called “social phobia”.

1. What is “social phobia”?

Socializing is an indispensable activity for everyone in modern life. However, many introverts, especially young women, will feel panic and uneasy in interpersonal interactions, and may experience blushing, sweating, rapid heartbeat, stammering and at a loss. This phenomenon is called “social phobia”.

2. Social phobia can be divided into two main categories:

(1) General social phobia: If you suffer from general social phobia, in any place, in any situation, you will be afraid that you will become the center of attention of others. You will find everyone around you is watching you and observing your every little movement. You are afraid of being introduced to strangers, or even eating and drinking in public places. You will avoid going to malls and restaurants as much as possible. You never dared to argue with your boss, colleagues or anyone to defend your rights.



(2) Special social phobia: If you suffer from a special social phobia, you will be particularly afraid of certain special situations or occasions. For example, you are afraid to speak in public and perform in public.

Nevertheless, you are not terrified in other social situations. Salesmen, actors, teachers, music players, etc., often have special social phobia. There is nothing unusual in their general interactions with others, but when they need to perform on stage or speak in public, they feel extreme fear, often become stammered, or even stunned on the spot.

Three, the specific manifestations of social phobia:

People with social phobia are always worried about making a fool of themselves in front of others, and they feel extremely anxious before attending any social gatherings. They will imagine how they make a fool of themselves in front of others. When they are really with others, they will feel more unnatural and even unable to say a word.

When the party is over, they will revisit the scenes in their minds over and over again, reviewing how they dealt with every detail, and how they should do it correctly. Both types of social phobia have similar physical symptoms: dry mouth, sweating, intense heartbeat, and want to go to the toilet. People around you may see symptoms such as red face, stuttering, and slight shaking.

Sometimes, patients find themselves short of breath and cold hands and feet. The worst result is that the patient will enter a state of panic.

Social phobia is a psychological disorder that is very painful and seriously affects patients’ lives and work. There are many things that ordinary people can easily do, but people with social phobia are daunted. The patient may think that he is a boring person and think that others will think that way too.



As a result, the patient becomes too sensitive and less willing to disturb others. And doing so will make the patient feel more anxious and depressed, thereby making the symptoms of social horror worse. Many patients change their lives to adapt to their symptoms. They (and their families) had to miss many meaningful activities.

They can’t go shopping in the mall, can’t establish a normal relationship between the sexes, can’t take their children to the park to play, and even in order to avoid dealing with people, they have to give up good job opportunities.

How can we eliminate this mental illness? The following five measures are very effective.

1. Do some exercises to overcome shyness. For example: stand on your feet steadily, then gently lift your heels, hold for a few seconds and then put them down, repeat 30 times at a time, do this two or three times a day, you can eliminate the uneasy feeling.

2. Shyness makes people short of breath. Therefore, you must force yourself to take several deep and rhythmic breaths, which can relieve tension and lay the foundation for building self-confidence.

3. When you are with others, whether it is a formal or informal gathering, you may wish to hold something in your hand at the beginning, such as a book, a handkerchief or other small things. Holding these things will make a shy person feel comfortable and have a sense of security.

4. Learn to look at others without fear and be attentive. Of course, for a shy person, it is more difficult to start doing this, but you have to learn. Just imagine, if you always avoid the sight of others, and always stare at a piece of furniture or a distant corner, don’t you seem naive? Don’t you and the other party are in the same position? Why don’t you show some courage? How about looking at others boldly and confidently?

5. Sometimes your shyness is not entirely due to excessive tension, but due to your narrow field of knowledge or too little knowledge of what is currently happening. If you can often read some extracurricular collections, newspapers and magazines, broaden your horizons, and enrich your experience, you will find that you can express your opinions without difficulty in social situations. This will powerfully help you build self-confidence and overcome shyness.



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