There is a lack of close friends in life, a lack of trusted colleagues in work, and no firm partners in business. The lack of trust and security makes you and every friend separated by a wall of heart. How to break this deadlock?
1. First cause effect
45 seconds to make a first impression
When meeting for the first time, everyone can make a first impression in 45 seconds. This mainly includes appearance. Clothing, your posture and facial expressions, etc. The first impression will dominate your future contacts. Here, the “primary effect” reminds us that we should leave a good impression when we meet for the first time.
People are willing to associate with well-dressed and generous people. Pay attention to your speech and manners. It is best to be humorous, talkative, not humble, and elegant. With a good start, it is half the battle.
2. The law of integrity
Don’t give promises lightly
Honesty is the foundation of interpersonal communication and the foundation of life. If a person does not speak credit, what he says is not counted, it is easy to be disgusting, and it will be impossible to make friends in the long run; it is difficult for a company to gain a foothold in the market without a reputation.
If you have made a promise to someone, then your best thing is to do your best to complete it and do it well. If you are beyond your ability, then don’t just accept it from the beginning. As Washington, as we know, said: “You must keep your promises, and you must not make promises that are beyond your ability.”
3. The law of face
Be merciful in everything
The essence of face is dignity. In terms of the hierarchy of needs theory, it is the need to be respected and recognized. Everyone wants to have dignity in front of others.
Associating with people, no matter how good you are, don’t forget to give others dignity. To save face for others is to leave a way out for oneself, which is especially important in family relationships. The breakdown of many families stems from the fact that wives do not save face for their husbands in front of outsiders, which hurts their self-esteem. The family is not a battlefield for rivalry, but a harbor for mutual respect.
4. The Law of Praise
Learn to compliment
Psychology and mind reading understand that good praise can win people’s hearts. Everyone is eager to get a sincere compliment, which will make people feel that their own value is affirmed, feel happy and inspired, and have a sense of closeness to the praiser. The psychological distance between each other is shortened and close due to praise.
A person’s false compliments can easily cause dryness, and even leave a bad impression of flattering. A sincere compliment should pay attention to two points:
4.1. Praise facts rather than people. The focus of the compliment should be on what the other person did. For example, saying “You write really well” is easier to accept than saying “You are awesome”.
4.2. Be specific in praise. Praise for something is more powerful. For example, “your tie goes well with your suit” is better than “you look good today” can speak to the other person’s heart. Every time you sincerely praise someone, you will not only be happy, but also satisfy yourself.
5. The law of lies
Give hope with kindness
A white lie may sometimes be able to change the trajectory of others’ lives in this way. When appropriate, telling some such lies can often make our interpersonal relationship more harmonious.
For example, when a colleague puts on the new clothes he just bought and shows it to you enthusiastically, you may not think it is worth the money, or how good-looking, but a few kind compliments may make the other person have a good mood for the day. , The friendship will be more harmonious.
6. The law of reciprocity
Helping is helping yourself
Helping and understanding each other is the law of reciprocity in psychology. The American writer Emerson once said: “One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that people sincerely help others, but at the same time they help themselves.” Reach out your hand to help others, not reach out to trip them. Interpersonal communication is like an echo. You are kind to me and I am kind to you.
British philosopher Bacon said: “How you want others to treat you, treat others first.” For a team, only by sincerely helping employees can employees wholeheartedly help the team grow. For individuals, sincerely helping others, there will be unexpected gains in interpersonal communication.
7, the opposite sex effect
High efficiency of male and female collocation
As the saying goes, men and women match, work is not tired. Psychological research has also confirmed that activities that involve both men and women are happier, more energetic, and perform better than activities that involve only the same sex. This is the “heterosexual effect”. Psychologists also found that in a working environment with only men or women, even if the conditions are superior and the degree of automation is high, employees are prone to fatigue and work efficiency is not high.
There is also a minimum percentage of “opposite effects”. The study found that in a group, the proportion of the opposite sex cannot be less than 20%, otherwise it will reduce efficiency. In addition, the ages of the members should not be too different. Using the “hetero-sex effect”, managers can reasonably match the gender ratio of employees, which not only meets the psychological needs of employees, but also improves the efficiency of the team.
8. The law of tolerance
Improper tolerance of good people
“Forbearance is calm for a while, take a step back and broaden the sky.” Harmonious interpersonal relationships require tolerance. There are no two people who are exactly the same in the world. People who get along with us have different ages, different experiences, different personalities, and different styles of life, so there will always be differences and contradictions.
To be patient, understand the strengths of others, understand the shortcomings of others, and tolerate others’ faults in order to live in harmony. If you can’t suffer, you can’t stand the anger, and you can only worry about a small thing, which will not only make people around you stay away, but it is also detrimental to your physical and mental health.
Some people regard Forbearance as “wholesome”. Forbearance is not about failing to adhere to principles, but rather, without violating the principles, giving priority to tolerance, facing others with a broad mind, and being kind to others.
Through the analysis of the psychology above, we have learned that in our daily life, we should pay attention to many points in the interactions between people, especially when you meet for the first time, we must leave one for others. Good impression, because we have learned from the above that a good impression can add points to the future relationship between you.