September 18, 2021

Psychological decompression: stay away from psychological “imaginary enemies”

In life, some people always consciously or unconsciously set up an “imaginary enemy” for themselves, and this person may be a friend, a rival, a colleague, or even a parent. The so-called “imaginary enemy” is an enemy that does not exist at all. It is just an opponent with a false heart, and will spend a lot of psychological energy to fight against this opponent, and inadvertently bring this “struggle” psychology into real life and affect your own life.

In the workplace, I often see such people. They have achieved certain results in their work, but they always feel that some colleagues criticize themselves behind their backs. As a result, they regard these colleagues as their own “enemies”, no matter what they do, they want to compare themselves with their colleagues to prove their abilities. Over time, they found that they were being driven by these “enemies”. After a short pause, they might be overtaken and made fun of.

In fact, many people in the workplace may have encountered similar problems. It is inevitable that there will be competition and interest relations among colleagues. Those who are more withdrawn, self-reliant, and not good at cooperating are most likely to easily regard some relatively good colleagues with their own level as competitors. In the final analysis, the root of the existence of “imaginary enemies” is competition and the psychological defense mechanism brought about by competition.

These people think that their colleagues are competing with him and are always waiting for the opportunity to surpass themselves. This situation may be true. However, this is more likely to be an illusion magnified by himself, a projection of his own inner world. The reason why people set up “imaginary enemies” is actually a manifestation of lack of self-confidence. The real enemy is not others, but themselves. Such people generally find it difficult to accept their shadow side, and it is also difficult to accept that others are better than themselves. If an “imaginary enemy” is established in the heart for a long time, it will consume psychological and physical energy, eventually destroy fighting spirit and hinder personal development. If things go on like this, the job will get worse.

If you are busy competing with the “imaginary enemy”, you should adjust your mentality. Don’t always find someone to compete, and don’t attribute your failure to innocent colleagues. You must know that the appearance of an “imaginary enemy” may be a reminder to your work. Treating him as a friend is more conducive to self-growth and work progress than being an enemy.