May 08, 2021

How to protect your psychological “boundaries” when getting along with others!

1. At work and in life, others know their own boundaries and deliberately violate their own boundaries. We know clearly that others’ boundaries also intentionally violate other people’s boundaries. This kind of thing may happen, but after all, it is a small number of incidents. Most Situation, the violation of our boundaries by others is not intentional, nor is we intentional violation of the boundaries of others. There are several reasons for this:

1.1 Did not say what their boundaries are, but take it for granted that the other party should know;

1.2 Didn’t make it clear what their boundaries were, but thought they had made it clear;

1.3 I have clearly stated the boundaries, but have not reached a consensus with the other party, that is, did not get the other party’s approval;

1.4 Both parties said they approved, but their understanding of the approved content is different;



1.5 The person who proposed the boundary changed the connotation of the boundary afterwards, but did not notify the other party;

1.6 The person who proposed the boundary forgot;

1.7 The other party forgot;

1.8 When protecting one’s own boundaries, he violated the boundaries of others, causing a cycle of evil deeds and retribution.

Boundaries are often not established once, and repeated communication is required;

The boundary is not static, it will change over time.

As long as the other party is not intentional and the motivation is good, you must improve your communication skills, express your own boundaries with clear requirements, and stop using complaining methods to criticize the other party for infringing your own boundaries.





2. Establish boundaries and protect the three realms of boundaries:

The first state: establish your own clear boundaries and defend your own boundaries;

The second realm: on the basis of the first realm, observe the boundaries of others and respect the boundaries of others;

The third realm: On the basis of the first and second realms, assist others in establishing their own boundaries and actively protect the boundaries of others.

A very self-conscious person just builds boundaries to protect oneself, and often turns the boundaries of oneself into hard and hard walls. Respect for the boundaries of others must have an equal mentality. No matter who you face, you can say: I am not higher than you, and I am not lower than you. For people who often ignore the boundaries of others, learn to be in awe. He is a valuable person, but his behavior seems to be young, junior, and experience.

People who often tolerate retreat and give up their own boundaries must dare to express their own requirements and strengthen their self-esteem.

Remarks:

Boundary-in a certain situation or relationship, where things stop.



For example:
1. My computer is not allowed to be used or operated without my consent;

2. Before marriage, you can only hug and kiss, and you can’t have a deeper sexual relationship;