May 17, 2021

Heterophobia: A psychological analysis of being afraid of interacting with boys

[1] What is heterophobia?

Heterophobia means that the patient has a strong desire to be close to the opposite sex in the subconscious, on the other hand, it also has serious anxiety, so it shows abnormal symptoms of tension and fear in front of the opposite sex, and some even have a heterosexual relationship. Psychological symptoms such as delusions. The fear of the opposite sex is mainly manifested as not daring to make eye contact with the opposite sex, let alone talking with the opposite sex. Even if you talk with the opposite sex, your face will be red and your speech will be slurred. When you see the opposite sex coming towards you, your whole body will be nervous and sweat. Heterophobia symptoms can be roughly divided into: red face fear (red face and red ears), sight fear (eye strain, avoiding eye contact) and facial expression fear (facial muscle tension, unnatural performance).

[2] What causes it?

Heterophobia often comes from self-obsessive-compulsive disorder. When you see the opposite sex, you force yourself not to look at him (her) and cause inner struggles, or force you to produce some weird ideas, and then desperately want to control it, the more difficult it becomes control.

Fear of the opposite sex is often seen as shy and honest in childhood and adolescence, but some children will get rid of shyness due to changes in social experience and way of thinking, so there is no opportunity for social fear; and some children will be because of this. More and more sensitive, low self-esteem, and finally developed into heterophobia.



Heterophobia is a kind of psychological perversion. What I fear is not the external sexual object, but my inner sexual delusion. This kind of inversion was first revealed in sight. Afraid to face the opposite sex, the look in his eyes is a little serious. This is where the evil heart resides.



Women’s shy and sexy expressions of men are purely delusional misunderstandings of eroticism. In other words, women’s feelings and anxiety are not so much a misunderstanding of a man about her, as a misunderstanding of a man, a fact of imagination, not a real fact. This is the perversion of the delusions of adolescent girls.

[3], age of onset

The multiple stages of heterophobia: Heterophobia occurs in girls who are sexually mature between 14 and 17 years old. This age group is also the most stressful period of going to school and going on to school, which has a bearing on the future and fate of girls. Fear of sexual delusions, fear of such delusions affecting their own future and destiny, extreme depression and full resistance to their mature sexual instincts are the heavy spiritual burdens of girls of this age. The contradiction between reason and instinct, the psychological vortex formed by the conflict between this sexual delusion and sexual taboos appear repeatedly, and the consumption of mental energy exceeds the limit, and it will be aroused as a phobia of the opposite sex. Symptoms of heterophobia: Heterophobia fears just his own sexual delusions. Girls, especially those who have been brought up with excessive caution, girls who have never received sex education, have an early love and delusions, and they will be shocked and suffer from mental illness when they find sexual delusions. Sexual delusions, as an imaginary fact, make them always sickly timid, afraid of men approaching them, afraid of men gazing at them, men approaching and gazing is a kind of mental torture.

[4], symptoms

Heterophobia symptoms can be roughly divided into: red face fear (red face and red ears), sight fear (eye strain, avoiding eye contact) and facial expression fear (facial muscle tension, unnatural performance).

If there are more than 2 symptoms below, it means that the subject has a typical heterophobia



4.1 When interacting with the opposite sex will be very stressful. When the opposite sex takes the initiative to interact with you, you will refuse to interact because of your tension.

4.2. As long as you interact with the opposite sex, it will happen that you don’t know where to put your hands, you don’t know where to look, and you desperately pay attention to your image.

4.3. When the opposite sex is staring at you, you will be especially scared and even “angry”

4.4. When being with the opposite sex, the brain forces itself to produce some weird thoughts, such as the other party likes himself, the other party hates you, or even the other party does not wear clothes

4.5. I am often afraid of what the opposite sex will do to myself, extremely insecure

4.6. Even if the opposite sex does not associate with you but just exists by your side, you will be at a loss and unable to concentrate

4.7. Blushing, dry mouth, sweating, shaking…

4.8. Experienced harm from the opposite sex in love and marriage, leading to distrust and no interest in the opposite sex.



【5】Cause analysis

Logically speaking, the opposite sex is an attractive interpersonal relationship. Fear of the opposite sex, the common reasons and corresponding countermeasures are as follows:

5.1 Increase opportunities for contact with the opposite sex. The less you have contact, the less the experience of contact; the less experience, the more at a loss; the more at a loss, the more terror you feel. If it is caused by too little contact, the problem should be solved by increasing contact with the opposite sex. Just hiding blindly forms a vicious circle.

5.2 Properly deal with the psychological frustrations experienced when interacting with the opposite sex. Some friends may have suffered a loss when dealing with the opposite sex, or they may have been ridiculed, and feel very embarrassed when they see the opposite sex again. Frustration leads to embarrassment, and embarrassment leads to disgust, and finally develops from disgust to fear. If this is the case, you must prevent your conclusions from being partial, thinking that everyone of the opposite sex is terrible. This conclusion is incorrect. You cannot deny your ability to communicate with the opposite sex because of setbacks, and you must not deny your ability to communicate with the opposite sex because of setbacks. Associating with the opposite sex.

5.3 is influenced by traditional feudal thinking. Therefore, facing the opposite sex is always highly alert and nervous, and regards the interaction with the opposite sex too seriously. Associate the opposite sex with fear. When you think of the opposite sex, you are afraid. When you see the opposite sex, you are even more afraid. Over time, it forms a kind of conditioned reflex, which leads to serious psychological obstacles. Therefore, it is necessary to solve the problem from the value concept and treat heterosexual interaction as the most natural thing in human interaction.

5.4 is the fear of being left out by the opposite sex. People tend to be like this, the more they want to succeed, the more they are afraid of loopholes. It’s the same with the opposite sex. If you are also afraid of being left out, then when dealing with the opposite sex, you should predict the cold out first. All the opposite sex will always like and hate you, so you will definitely meet the opposite sex who likes you, and he will be enthusiastic about you. With this plan, your fear of being left out will slowly fade.



5.5 Related to unresolved sexual distress during adolescence. Every young man and woman has a focus on sex and an exploration psychology at a critical age. However, because parents tend to adopt closed education in family education, they seldom accept positive guidance and enlightenment. The knowledge and knowledge about sex of boys and girls is often obtained by their own personal environment intentionally or unintentionally to capture, absorb, learn and observe. of. Most of them are one-sided and difficult to solve, so confusion is unavoidable. As some people grow older and accumulate insights, this confusion will naturally be relieved, and some people will not be relieved and keep the early confusion for a long time, so that after adulthood, they will be disturbed in their sexual psychology and sexual behavior. The result is sexual psychosis.

【6】、Treatment method

A great part of heterophobia comes from the wrong teaching of parents. In China, some feudal ideologies still exist, especially for girls, who have been instilled since childhood to be self-cleaning and self-love, and to know some politeness. In fact, they also limit the happiness of normal interaction between men and women in another aspect.In fact, there are many things in common between the opposite sex and the same sex.They all hope to learn more about each other’s inner world, and boldly express their own ideas about things that resonate In my opinion, solving heterophobia actually requires patients to be able to grasp the correct yardstick for the relationship between men and women.

Heterophobia For some beautiful women, because they have had the experience of being distorted and troubled because of their beauty, they have been dissatisfied with normal praises ever since. Scientific treatment should not be partial. In fact, everyone’s social psychology is different, but for women, it should be believed that most of the contacts in the world should be well-meaning.

Most heterophobias stem from past nightmarish experiences. The past emotional setbacks and failed marriages left women with double damage to the body and mind, and this damage could not be healed for a long time. This kind of psychology causes women to reflexively and resolutely refuse when they encounter passionate pursuits, no matter what they are in their hearts. Women are the most vulnerable in love and marriage, especially the scars on the soul may become permanent scars, so a special medicine must be found to gradually smooth the scars on the soul. The special medicine mentioned here is love and happiness, bravely accept your own sincerity, don’t let the shadow occupy your own life, all hurt and fear will pass away.

Of course, the beauty mentioned here is not a beauty in the traditional sense. Every woman in the world has her beauty. The important thing is how to dig it. Embracing the sunshine in life boldly will make your beauty more brilliant. Many women who suffer from heterophobia are afraid that they are not beautiful women and become wary of the opposite sex. In fact, this is a psychological fear of being left out and ignored. As mentioned earlier, building up personal confidence is the first step to beauty.

Youth treatment

With the advent of puberty, boys and girls gradually enter the mature period of sexual development. During this period, they will be curious about the opposite sex and like to approach the opposite sex, but they show abnormal fear of the opposite sex and fear of contact with the opposite sex. In fact, this is the manifestation of suffering from “heterophobia”. Therefore, children and parents should pay enough attention to it.

Fear of the opposite sex is often seen as honest and shy in childhood and adolescence. Some children will gradually get rid of the shackles of fear, but some children will become more and more sensitive and low self-esteem due to emotional frustration, until they develop “heterophobia”. In severe cases, they will be depressed, compulsive, and schizophrenic. There are three types of “heterophobia”: red face fear, which is manifested as red face and red ears; gaze fear, which is manifested as eye tension and trying to avoid eye contact; facial expression fear, which is manifested as facial muscle tension and unnatural performance. “Heterophobia” mostly occurs in adolescents between 14 and 17 years old. They will subconsciously have a good impression of the opposite sex in their adolescence. Especially for teenagers with too introverted personality, it is easy to mistakenly think that their classmates are paying attention to themselves. Once they are emotionally frustrated, they will become shy and nervous when communicating with the opposite sex, resulting in escape and fear. They dare not make eye contact with the opposite sex, let alone talk with the opposite sex. Even if they talk to the opposite sex, they will face red and slurred speech. When they see the opposite sex coming towards them, they will sweat all over their body.

Experts suggest that it is normal for boys and girls to become interested in the opposite sex. If you get healthy and correct education and guidance, this kind of interest will not delay learning, but will serve as a motivation to promote people’s progress, respect and cultivate relationships with the opposite sex. Therefore, parents should pay attention to the emotional communication and cultivation of their children, especially when the children enter puberty. Parents should guide their children to have normal exchanges between the opposite sex, and should not talk about “sex” discoloration. In addition, if the child’s heterophobia is more serious, then parents and friends can choose a pure Chinese medicine preparation without any side effects for the child to treat it.



Teenagers should learn to properly deal with the psychological frustrations they encounter when interacting with the opposite sex. Embarrassment caused by frustration can cause adolescents to be psychologically disgusted and afraid of interacting with the opposite sex. Teenagers should realize that they cannot be generalized. Being ridiculed by some people does not mean that everyone is talking about you. If the fear is caused by too little contact, the problem should be solved by increasing contact with the opposite sex. If you blindly hide, a vicious circle is formed.

Other suggestions:

Take the first step: actively communicate with the opposite sex

If you want to overcome this state, the first thing is to take the initiative to communicate with the opposite sex and take the first step in communication, even if you don’t speak well, it doesn’t matter. As long as you speak, even a greeting will do.

In interpersonal communication, if you only stay in the imaginary stage, and even often imagine the experience of failure, it will only make yourself more lacking in self-confidence, always thinking that you are not good, and lacking the courage and confidence to communicate. On the contrary, if you take the first step and try to talk to the opposite sex, you will find that they are very friendly, and communicating with others is actually a very happy thing. This kind of pleasant communication experience will also promote your communication with the opposite sex. Impulse and behavior.

In addition, it is also necessary to supplement relevant training in daily life, such as recitation.

How to overcome the barriers to communicating with the opposite sex, specifically, you can prepare for these two aspects:

First, emotional preparation, that is, to overcome the fear of inferiority mentioned above, try to contact the opposite sex, and speak with the opposite sex. For example, often go to some social occasions, find opportunities to contact the opposite sex, etc.

Second, language preparation, such as more recitation, preferably the kind of connection that can make sounds. People who have a long-term lack of experience in interacting with the opposite sex often have a little language barrier, or it is normal to talk to people normally, but when they face the opposite sex, they will hesitate and tremble. The connection in aspects, such as reading prose, etc., improves the smoothness, clarity, emotional perception and basic language ability of language expression. In addition, you can also overcome this communication barrier by communicating more with people and participating in more social activities.

Some netizens said that I often train myself to speak, and also try to speak to the opposite sex, but every time I face the opposite sex, I always blush and my heart beats, and the conversation often ends in failure. Then, you need to master certain communication skills at this time. When you are in certain communication situations, in addition to acting bravely, you must also know how to control emotions and master some communication skills in communication.