Discussion without criticism
The purpose of discussing with others is to explore the best way to solve the problem. If you continue to criticize others in this process, and always think that you are right, the root cause is that you did not put the other party and yourself on an equal position and give a high degree of respect. Perhaps in your subconscious mind, you think that this is a discussion between professors and illiterate. When your criticism is refuted or the discussion is fruitless, all you gain is anger.
Before doing something, you must know that it is right before you are willing to do it. If it is not right, you will not do it. This is a manifestation of mental health. As the saying goes, “If you want to know the taste of pears, you must taste it yourself.” Similarly, doing things is also true. It is better to do something wrong than not to do it. Blindly hesitating and lingering, can only “dust the brilliance of thought.” Only those who are excessively perfectionist or cowardly will continue to doubt because they cannot bear failure.
Challenge without mocking
Psychology believes that, generally speaking, all challenges are hostile, just like the competitive psychology caused by vanity in adolescence. You have to distinguish yourself from the higher and lower before you give up. When challenged, the arrogance of one’s heart often makes people use “ridicule” as a weapon to attack each other. In Maslow’s view, people with high mental health are not like this. They have a philosopher’s sense of humor and regard challenges as well-intentioned cooperation, not to overwhelm or defeat each other, but to draw advantages from each other and summarize the gains and losses. Make progress together in continuous transcendence.
Forgive without resentment
When a person says to forgive the other party, it is true or false, there is a way to judge: forgive sincerely, next time even if the other party makes the same mistake, he will still forgive; if it is false, he will not forgive next time other side. This is because false forgiveness still contains resentment in the heart, but it is only a compromise in language. The reason why resentment exists is that our eyes are only fixed on each other’s mistakes and we ignore our own mistakes. Real forgiveness should first find the reasons from oneself, how can one ask others to do better if oneself is not doing well? Then play the role of love and compassion to forgive others thoroughly.
Smile without hesitation
The most perfect smile in the world appeared on Mona Lisa’s face. When you see her, you will understand what a “smile without hesitation” is. She reveals the kindness and tranquility of the heart and is the most true expression of the soul. When others see this smile, a kind of subsequent happiness will also be born in their hearts. Smile is the most direct response of people to beautiful things and people. If you hesitate, it will bring a trace of falsehood. Smiling faces made for flattery or perfunctory reflect our inner repression and contradiction.