What is emotional intelligence?
If you have the ability to identify the emotions of yourself and others, and adjust your thinking and behavior accordingly, then congratulations, you have a high probability of success that is difficult for others to match!
Emotional intelligence is not innate. Like any other ability, it needs constant polishing to improve. So is it possible that you already have a high EQ, but you haven’t realized it yet?
May wish to compare the following standards to see if they are in line with your own behavior habits.
1. Always think about the reasons behind feelings
High EQ people are people who are good at reflection.
They are not so easily confused by emotions. At a whim, you can often experience the thrill of inspiration quickly, and it will turn into reflection on yourself-
“What makes me feel this way?”
“What caused me to say such a thing or do such a thing?”
“What is the real reason for doing this?”
After introducing various emotional issues to rational thinking, you will get rid of the control of negative feelings, and use these new perspectives after reflection to open up Xinjiang that is unimaginable by ordinary people.
2. Good at understanding the opinions of others
They clearly understand that there is a big difference between people.
People are isolated islands, we try our best to shout, but we may not be able to be heard.
Many times we have different views on issues. It is not a question of who is right or wrong. It is just that people stand in different positions and see the sky differently. Therefore, the most important thing to deal with one thing well is not whether you are right to me, but to find a balance of interests and work together to achieve a win-win situation.
Every road leading to the destination has different scenery.
3. Know when to pause
“Pause” means to stop and think for a while before doing something or speaking recklessly.
For example, when you are irritated by a person and have a strong urge to let him see blood immediately, you may consciously call yourself “wait” to avoid a conflict with irreparable consequences;
Of course, the truth is easy to say but difficult to do.
But this is a manifestation of a strong self-control.
4. Consider the reactions of others
In communication, you should observe the reaction of others in time to confirm whether the other party really understands what you mean. You can change your way of expression, change your expression time, change your clothes to try to communicate with people.
When you can’t choose who to talk to, try to turn your inability into something to make a difference.
Especially in face-to-face communication, whether the interaction is good or not depends largely on whether your observation is nuanced and whether your speech actions are accurate.
5. Forgive others
Not forgiving others is equivalent to leaving the knife on the wound and refusing to pull it out, and your wound will never heal.
Forgiving others is not a sign of weakness.
This shows that you will not choose to be immersed in resentment, but to let go of the burden of the past through forgiveness-in this way, you can expose this page and continue your life.
Forgiveness is not a kind of tolerance, but a kind of wisdom and ability.
6. Take the initiative to control your thinking
There is a saying: “You can’t prevent a bird from falling on your head, but you can prevent it from building a nest on your head.”
When in a negative situation, you may not be able to control your natural emotional response. But you can control what happens next-you can control your thinking.
Instead of entangled in these negative feelings and complaining about how unfair the situation is, it is better to focus on the positive side and make a plan to move on.
People who stop losses in time must have high emotional intelligence.
7. Don’t label people
Our brains always have a tendency to simplify everything and people, and labeling is a manifestation of this tendency.
Imagine that the books in the library have labels. Is it easy for you to find them?
Unfortunately, people are not like this.
The harder you look, the less clear you will be.
If you don’t label others casually, you will be able to maintain a more comprehensive and objective view of them, so that you can get the most benefit in interpersonal communication.
People with high EQ do not show such characteristics in everything. No one is perfect. The important thing is to keep learning and improving yourself, so that you have such characteristics in the things you care about.
If you want to become a person with high EQ, it is important not to ignore the problem easily, and to achieve iterative upgrade of your own knowledge and experience through continuous and rapid trial and error. This is the real value for a person.