The 8 psychological laws proved by psychologists through experiments can help you relieve your interpersonal relationship troubles and become a guarantee of happiness in life and success in your career.
First cause effect: 45 seconds to make a first impression
American social psychologist Lochins did such an experiment in 1957: He fabricated two stories, describing the same person’s life. In the first story, this person is written as a warm and outgoing person, and in the second story, he is written as a cold and introverted person. Later, he asked two groups of participants to read the two stories and evaluate the personality of the person. As a result, the evaluations of the participants were completely different. He thus proposed the law of “primary effect”.
Psychological research has found that the first impression can be produced in 45 seconds at the first meeting, mainly including appearance, clothing, posture and facial expressions. The first impression will dominate the subsequent interactions. The “primary effect” reminds us that we should make a good impression when we meet for the first time. People are willing to associate with well-dressed and generous people. Pay attention to your speech and manners. It is best to be humorous, talkative, not humble, and elegant. With a good start, it is half the battle.
The law of integrity: don’t give promises lightly
Honesty is the foundation of interpersonal communication and the foundation of life. If a person does not speak credit, what he says is not counted, it is easy to be disgusting, and it will be impossible to make friends in the long run; it is difficult for a company to gain a foothold in the market without a reputation.
Having made a promise, we must do our best to do it. Don’t agree to things you can’t manage from the beginning. As Washington said: “We must keep our promises, and we must not make promises that are beyond our means.”
The law of face: be merciful in everything
The essence of face is dignity. According to the needs hierarchy theory of American psychologist Maslow, it is the need to be respected and recognized. Everyone wants to have dignity in front of others.
Associating with people, no matter how good you are, don’t forget to give others dignity. To save face for others is to leave a way out for oneself, which is especially important in family relationships. The breakdown of many families stems from the fact that wives do not save face for their husbands in front of outsiders, which hurts their self-esteem. The family is not a battlefield for rivalry, but a harbor for mutual respect.
The law of praise: learn to praise people’s hearts closer
Praise can win people’s hearts. Everyone is eager to get a sincere compliment, which will make people feel that their own value is affirmed, feel happy and inspired, and have a sense of closeness to the praiser. The psychological distance between each other is shortened and close due to praise.
False compliments can easily cause disgust and even leave a bad impression of flattering. Sincere praise should pay attention to two points:
Praise facts instead of people. The focus of the compliment should be on what the other person did. For example, saying “You write really well” is easier to accept than saying “You are awesome”.
Be specific in your praise. Praise for something is more powerful. For example, “your tie goes well with your suit” is better than “you look good today” can speak to the other person’s heart. Every time you sincerely praise someone, you will not only be happy, but also satisfy yourself.
The law of lies: give hope with kindness
In the novel The Last Leaf, the famous American writer O. Henry told about the experience of the poor student Jonsey suffering from pneumonia. Falling represents his own death. A painter heard about Jonsey and painted an ivy leaf that “will never fall” on a rainy night. Qiongxi saw the “leaves” that had not withered after the rainstorm, and smiled, rekindling hope for life.
A white lie may sometimes change the trajectory of other people’s lives in this way. When appropriate, telling some such lies can often make our interpersonal relationship more harmonious. For example, when a colleague puts on the new clothes he just bought and shows it to you enthusiastically, you may not think it is worth the money, or how good-looking, but a few kind compliments may make the other person have a good mood for the day. , The friendship will be more harmonious.
The law of reciprocity: helping others is helping yourself
There is a fable: the gods take a dying man to visit heaven and hell. At lunchtime, the spoons used for eating in hell and heaven are very long. It is difficult for people in hell to eat food in anyway, or even spread it on the ground. People in heaven feed each other to people on the opposite side and eat with relish. The only difference between heaven and hell is whether to help each other.
Helping and understanding each other is the law of reciprocity in psychology. The American writer Emerson once said: “One of the most beautiful compensations in life is that people sincerely help others, but also help themselves.” Reach out your hand to help others, not reach out to trip them. Interpersonal communication is like an echo. You are kind to me and I am kind to you.
British philosopher Bacon said: “How do you want others to treat you, you should treat others first.” For a team, only by sincerely helping employees can employees wholeheartedly help the team grow. For individuals, sincerely helping others, there will be unexpected gains in interpersonal communication.
Heterosexual effect: high efficiency of male and female collocation
As the saying goes, men and women match, work is not tired. Psychological research has also confirmed that activities that involve both men and women are happier, more energetic, and perform better than activities that involve only the same sex. This is the “heterosexual effect”. Psychologists also found that in a working environment with only men or women, even if the conditions are superior and the degree of automation is high, employees are prone to fatigue and work efficiency is not high.
There is also a minimum percentage of “opposite effects”. The study found that in a group, the proportion of the opposite sex cannot be less than 20%, otherwise it will reduce efficiency. In addition, the ages of the members should not be too different. Using the “heterosexual effect”, managers can match the gender ratio of employees reasonably, which not only meets the psychological needs of employees, but also improves the work efficiency of the team.
The law of tolerance: tolerance of improper and abuse of good people
There are no two people who are exactly the same in the world. People who get along with us have different ages, different experiences, different personalities, and different styles of life, so there will always be differences and contradictions.
To be patient, understand the strengths of others, understand the shortcomings of others, and tolerate others’ faults in order to live in harmony. If you can’t suffer, you can’t stand the anger, and you can only worry about a small thing, which will not only make people around you stay away, but it is also detrimental to your physical and mental health.
Some people regard Forbearance as “wholesome”. Patience does not mean that you are not principled, nor does it advocate being “abusive of good people.” It is to give priority to tolerance, to be forgiving and forgiving, and to face others with a broad mind, and to be kind to others.