With the development of the times, people’s knowledge and research on homosexuality have confirmed that homosexuality is no longer a mental illness, and homosexuality is not a rare phenomenon, and homosexuality often occurs in the animal kingdom. People are full of curiosity about homosexuality, so a “danmei culture” has been formed.
So how did homosexuality come into being? This article will give you some inspiration. But because everyone is different, not all people have the same factors, and not the same factors make people gay. Homosexuality also has innate factors, that is, it is born like this. It is also caused by various acquired factors.
But one thing is certain, when we are not discriminating against this group, all kinds of tragedies about this group will happen less frequently.
Many studies have shown that the formation of homosexuality reflects an unhealthy and unhappy parent-child or mother-child relationship. Many young people who are attracted by the gay lifestyle are looking for an identity that makes them feel accepted. Many young people who are struggling with gender issues, most of the problems related to self-image, started in the family.
In the process of children forming gender roles, mothers also play an important role. When counseling the parental model behind the homosexual state, it is found that the mothers of children with mixed gender roles are often domineering and overly picky or dominating. May hate men because of past experience, and therefore belittle all men. They may also be lonely single women who need love and have an incestuous relationship with their son.
A “classic” homosexual triangle relationship is that when the role of the mother becomes more and more dominant, the role of the husband gradually fades, especially this type of husband is also a particularly alienated father. This type of mother also pays special attention to a certain son who will evoke her impression of her father or husband, and based on their own emotional problems, they unconsciously want to occupy this beloved man, and then project this idea on On the son. This kind of mother-child relationship is not inevitable, but a very close and dependent mother-child relationship has been found in many cases of homosexuals, and even some mothers will openly express the hope that their son will be their husband. This kind of relationship has led to a contradictory situation. Gay men believe that their mother is the person who knows him best in the world. When mothers and fathers often have disputes, they tend to hope for the sympathy and understanding of their sons, especially if the relationship between the son and the father is alienated, and then the relationship between the mother and the son and the father is formed, and the boy will regard masculinity as a kind of rude and violent relationship. Inconsiderate performance, and then refused to show their male side.
In the process of discussing how to prevent homosexuality, there is a common factor that often appears: love dominance, domineering father or mother, and the parent’s influence on sensitive children.
Some characteristics of Dominant personality type parents, these characteristics are the most explosive:
Indifferent-strong, indifferent, hard-hearted
Domineering-love to use power to dominate others/situation
Independence-making others inaccessible
Be pragmatic-impersonal, treat people as crops
No patience-very restrained in using time
Willing to take risks—competitive in interpersonal relationships, like to take power—like to make decisions alone
Faced with this reality, what should we do? Whether we are parents, pastors, counselors, or just friends of the family, the first thing we need to do is to adopt an attitude of love and acceptance. Lack of love and acceptance is one of the main factors in every self-destructive and addictive behavior, including same-sex attraction and homosexuality.
“Transformation in Love” and the author Mr. Shi Daoen proposed “ten preventive parenting principles”, which are good strategies for preventing homosexuality among young people.
1. Treat your children as you like others to treat you. Do you like getting praise? Your children like it too. Do you like people who really pay attention to your hobbies, likes and dislikes? Also pay attention to the activities your children participate in!
2. Allow your children to make mistakes, but at the same time do not damage their self-esteem. Mistakes can be a good opportunity to learn and help them face challenges in the future.
3. Their natural development space. Children need time and space to build their self-confidence.
4. Praise their strengths to make up for their weaknesses. Every advantage has a weakness that offsets it, and vice versa. Don’t focus on their shortcomings, instead focus on their unique strengths.
5. Show your unconditional love and acceptance. Make sure they know that your love for them is based on their identity and personality, not just because of what they did.
6. Be with them and stay with them. Understand their interests and participate together. If you are willing to mingle with them, you will enjoy what they enjoy.
7. Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side. Men are scared and cry. There is nothing wrong with sharing these feelings with their son or daughter. As a mother, it is normal to lose your temper or cry out loud. Don’t deceive your child, but don’t hide it. In this way, when the time comes, you can empathize with their emotions.
8. Be open and confess your personal struggles. Doing so requires wisdom and discernment. You can share your personal troubles, but only to the point where it makes your relationship with your children closer and makes them willing to tell you secrets.
9. Affirm that your relationship with them is more important than anything else. Even if you disagree with their decisions and ideas, feel disappointed or even discouraged, you should always let them know that no matter what they do, you will always love them.
10. Let your children know that they occupy a very important place in your life.
Sensitive children (often artistically) have the following personality traits: Easy-going—friendliness, kind personality—cooperative, happy to get along with others—like being part of a group, close relationships and friendship are important to them Yes, there is little restraint in the use of time-it shows that it is slow to act and not willing to take risks-and it doesn’t care whether it can control others, it needs emotional support and approval.
When sensitive children react to bossy parents, these children are likely to have the following reactions: You make me feel guilty, you don’t know me. You don’t trust me-you are disappointed in me. You are bossy and ruthless. You are too demanding and will never be satisfied. You make me feel inadequate. If a growing child has most of the “sensitive” traits, it is not difficult for us to understand why this child will feel alienated and rejected when faced with dominating and determined parents. What influence does a domineering father have on a sensitive little boy? In the eyes of the growing son, the bossy father is bigger than his own life. The father can never get his son the attention he needs.
The son might even think that his father would not like him at all. The son’s greatest desire is to be accepted and appreciated by the hero in his mind, but under such circumstances, the son cannot get it. Therefore, the son can only transfer the goal to others to meet this need. And it is often an older gay man who can do what his father cannot do-express love and acceptance to his children. Parents will treat different children in different ways without knowing it. This approach itself will not cause harm. However, unhealthy parents have the opportunity to target a child in an unhealthy way, making the child a homosexual in the future.
In most cases, adolescents cannot find a male role model during their early growth at home, whether it is a father, a substitute for a father, or an elder brother. For the boys most affected by feminization, the lack of male role models that they can identify with is particularly prominent. In other cases, even if there is a father or a substitute for the role of father in the family, they are usually emotionally separated from the family. Many young people who are attracted by the gay lifestyle are looking for an identity that makes them feel accepted. When they are rejected by their parents and peers, their self-image is low, and they may turn to extreme lifestyles and behaviors in order to seek recognition and acceptance. Many young people who are struggling with gender issues, most of the problems related to self-image, started in the family.