So far, science is not clear about how homosexuality and heterosexuality are formed. Homosexuals, based on their own feelings and experiences, think that they are vaguely aware that they are homosexual when they are ignorant. Therefore, they will guess (or rather believe) that they are caused by genetic genes. Up to now, scientists have not discovered a gene accurately related to homosexuality. Homosexuality cannot simply be reduced to biological factors such as “genes”, but the result of the combined effects of physiological, psychological, and social factors.
Sexual orientation is not deliberately done by the person involved, nor can it be determined and changed by his voluntary will. Therefore, the problem of direct sexual behavior caused by homosexual orientation has nothing to do with morality and law.
For underage children, if they have had a “same-sex orientation” since childhood, the possibility of becoming a “homosexual” in the future is very high. The counselor does not force the child to change his sexual orientation, but respect and accept his homosexual orientation At the same time, encourage him to develop and broaden his life future. The goal of the consultation is how to make him grow up in happiness, and gradually get more happiness in the process of growing up, rather than changing his sexual orientation. It is concerned and discussing They have a good perspective on how to accept the differences in “sexual orientation” between themselves and the mainstream people, the differences in values, and the differences in social identity, so that they can build a unique and healthy personality growth from their own perspective. They are not forcing their children to change their sexuality. Orientation, but to respect and accept his same-sex sexual orientation while encouraging him to develop and broaden his life future. The goal of the consultation is how to make him grow up in happiness, and gradually get more happiness in the process of growing up. Do not change their sexual orientation.
If it is an already formed “adult homosexual”, during counseling, psychological counseling will be conducted on some issues related to homosexual sexual orientation. Generally, there are the following points: 1. Self-acceptance; 2. Adaptation to society; 3. How to tell parents about “coming out” and its stress and adaptation; 4. About heterosexual “marriage”; 5. Adoption of children; 6. Safety Sexual behavior; 7. Accepting the difference in the happiness of others is equivalent to accepting your own unique happiness.
Parents often bring their children to consult about “sexual orientation”. Parents do not accept the fact that their children are “homosexual” and always hope that their children are not homosexual; if they are homosexual, they hope that the doctor must find ways to correct them. As a “homosexual”, children are often forced to come to seek medical treatment, and they have no desire and motivation to change their sexual orientation. Many visitors actually hope that the doctor can help him persuade his parents to understand and accept his sexual orientation.
When parents see the doctor, they often say to the doctor: “Doctor, you can diagnose your child quickly and see if he is gay!”
1. The diagnostic criteria of homosexuality
First of all, if a person has only the same-sex “sexual orientation” and no other mental symptoms, it is not regarded as a “mental illness”.
1. The diagnosis of “sexual orientation is homosexual”
Generally speaking, the diagnosis of “homosexuality” requires that “patients” have emotions, fantasies or behaviors related to sexual desire that are only for members of the same sex. Even under the environmental conditions that are convenient for interacting with the opposite sex, the person concerned “under normal living conditions, has continued to express sexual inclination to members of the same sex, including thoughts, emotions, and sexual behaviors, including thoughts, emotions, and sexual behaviors; although there can be normal sexuality to the opposite sex. Behavior, but the sexual orientation is significantly weakened or lacking, so it is difficult to establish and maintain family relationships with members of the opposite sex.”
How to determine that a person’s sexual orientation points to the same sex?
There are two important specific reference indicators: one is that when he meets the same sex, he has a physical reaction of genital excitement; the other is that he has an inner desire and passion to use his genitals to make love with the same sex. Physical reaction produces pleasure; psychological desire produces happiness.
Some gay men married women and gave birth to children under the persecution of their parents. At this time, the parents did not understand: Since he can have husband and wife sex and can also ejaculate and give birth to children, how can he be gay?
The answer is this: there are no eyes on the sex organs, and I don’t know whether the sex organs the other party has sex with are of the same sex or the opposite sex. As long as the human sexual organs encounter suitable mucosal stimulation, they will be excited, and even orgasm may occur, and men will ejaculate. However, homosexuals can have the pleasure of touching the sexual organs of the opposite sex and have an orgasm, but they have no psychological happiness.
Happiness is the real purpose of sex.
Therefore, I suggest changing “sexual orientation” to “love orientation”.
2. Differential diagnosis
In the differential diagnosis, special attention should be paid to the fact that the sexual identity of homosexuals has not changed. For example, if you are physically male, you think you are also male psychologically. If the body is male, but psychologically thinks that oneself is a “girl”, this is not homosexuality, but belongs to “transsexualism”, which is the part of people who are often said to have sex reassignment surgery.
If it is a single-sex environment, same-sex sexual behavior occurs, it is not necessarily homosexual. For example, male workers in steel mills, female workers in textile factories, girls in nursing school, prisoners in prisons, etc., when they have no contact with the opposite sex, they will have “same-sex sexual behavior”. At this time, it is not absolute. “Homosexuality”, because when they have the opportunity to contact the opposite sex, their same-sex sexual behavior will automatically give up.
2. Reasons for the formation of homosexuality
So far, science is not clear about how homosexuality and heterosexuality are formed. Homosexuals, based on their own feelings and experiences, think that they are vaguely aware that they are homosexual when they are ignorant. Therefore, they will guess (or rather believe) that they are caused by genetic genes.
Up to now, scientists have not discovered a gene accurately related to homosexuality. When science has not figured out how “sexual orientation is formed”, there is only one sentence that can be referred to: whether homosexual or heterosexual, sexual orientation is the result of the combined effect of biological, psychological, and social factors. This sentence is almost nonsense, and did not say the specific production mechanism. However, this sentence is actually useful. For example, when a paper reports that “the genes of homosexuality have been discovered”, we can say that homosexuality cannot simply be reduced to biological factors such as “genes”, but is the result of the combined effects of physiological, psychological, and social factors. Even if the same people are all “homosexuals”, in fact, every homosexual is “unique” and “different” and cannot be explained by the same universal and unified scientific principle. One thing is very clear, that is, sexual orientation is not deliberately done by the person involved, and it is not determined and changed by his own will. Therefore, direct behavior problems caused by homosexual sexual orientation have nothing to do with morality; homosexuals themselves do not bear legal and moral responsibilities for their sexual orientation. Even if in the future, scientists clarify the formation mechanism of homosexuality/heterosexuality, even if doctors have a way to change a person’s sexual orientation, is it necessary to “cure” homosexuality? The answer is no. Because science is the means and man is the end. Scientific methods should be subordinated to human goals. Homosexuals, if he feels that living like that is personally happy for him, then who has the power to use scientific means to change homosexuals? Therefore, the phenomenon of homosexuality is not a problem of disease, let alone a scientific problem. It is a “value judgment problem”, which reflects the respect and humanistic care of the whole society for individual differences.
3. Can homosexual sexual orientation be “cured”?
1. The main points of psychological counseling for homosexual parents
Some parents said: Doctor, please help us to treat the same-sex sexual orientation of the child as heterosexual.
I can accurately say: There is no doctor in the world that can effectively change the sexual orientation of homosexuals; no one can turn homosexuals into heterosexuals. If anyone can do this, he can get the Nobel Prize.
Based on this fact, I suggest that all parents give up the idea of changing their children’s sexual orientation and stop taking their children to seek medical treatment repeatedly, trying to “cure” their children’s homosexuality.
Doctors have no effective way to change people’s sexual orientation, neither can they turn homosexuality into heterosexuality, nor can they turn heterosexuality into homosexuality.
In the consultation, in order to persuade the parents of homosexuals, I will tell them: homosexuality is currently unknown, and it is not the individual will of the parties who can decide on their own. If you want your children to become heterosexual, you can experiment with yourself first to see if you can change yourself from heterosexual to homosexual. If not, please respect your child’s “same sex orientation”. When society cannot understand and accept homosexuality, do you as parents still love this child?
I found that every time my parents heard me say this, they would be desperate because they had come here admiringly, hoping that the doctor would turn their children into heterosexuals. I will say: As a doctor, I can only tell you the actual situation, instead of saying a few words to please you and make you happy. When my parents listened to my explanation, some parents would be very angry with me. I think: They are angry with me, it is better than going home to embarrass children.
Now the whole world no longer regards homosexuality as a “disease” or “mental illness”, naturally there is no need for treatment. Even if the reasons for the formation of homosexuality have been identified, even if there is a scientific way to change their sexual orientation, in fact, they are not treated, because the parties themselves will feel that only the current “homosexuality” status is the real source of their happiness .
I will continue to tell my parents: Now, the time has come to test whether you really love your children. If you really love this child, no matter if he is homosexual or heterosexual, he is your child. He was your child in the past, he is still your child, and will still be your child in the future. I believe you will continue to love him. If you don’t love him anymore because he is gay, and kick him out of the house, and the society does not accept them, how do you let them live?! Some data show that 27% of homosexuals have attempted suicide.
In the past, my counseling words made my parents desperate. Now, I will also pay attention to giving some hope to the parents of homosexuals during the consultation. I said: There are a few individual homosexuals who unknowingly become heterosexual when they are in their 40s or 50s. When parents hear this, they will eagerly ask: So, will our children change when they are 40 or 50 years old? I said: Maybe it is possible, but you can only wait and see and wait patiently. Wait until he is 40 or 50 years old… After the parents listened, they would be a little unwilling, but eventually left the clinic with a glimmer of hope. In fact, I was thinking in my heart: When the child is 40 or 50 years old, I still don’t know where you were at that time!
2. Psychological consultation for homosexuals
Psychological counselors still explain to homosexuals that “the cause of homosexuality is unknown” “is the result of the comprehensive effect of biological-psychological-social factors”, homosexuality is not intentional, and homosexual sexual orientation is no longer considered a disease, etc. . Even if you want to change your sexual orientation due to social pressure, there is no effective way in science. Of course, in psychological counseling, we will encourage homosexuals to actively develop and broaden their entire personality, and see how it works in the future. Maybe it will change, maybe nothing will change, it’s impossible to say. However, whether homosexual or heterosexual, the healthy development of personality is the theme of life.
Homosexuals are easy to label themselves and say “I am a homosexual”. At this time, I will say: In addition to your sexual orientation, you are a homosexual, what other characteristics do you have? In life, what important roles do you play? What are your personality characteristics? What is your interpersonal relationship? What is going on? Your study and work…? Eventually, I will let the visitor see that in addition to his own homosexual sexual orientation, he also has many personal characteristics in many aspects, and has a lot of personal prospects that need to be developed.
I often ask homosexuals: What do you love about the same sex? They will answer all kinds of reasons for admiration. I will continue to encourage them: whoever you love, you will gradually become who you are. Doing so will increase self-confidence and promote the all-round development and realization of human nature.
Just like heterosexuals, homosexuals also have many psychological problems, such as depression, neurosis, stress disorder, interpersonal problems, etc. Regarding these psychological problems, the way of psychological consultation and treatment is no different from that of heterosexuals.
If psychotherapy is to be given to homosexuals, just like heterosexuals, the goal of treatment is to promote the improvement and development of their personality, not to change their sexual orientation. If you do psychoanalytic therapy, the therapist will find that in their two or three-year-old “mother-infant stage” and “early stage of Oedipus stage”, there will be some psychological development problems, such as self-recognition of sexual identity , Recognition of sexual roles, interaction with parents, etc. Solving these psychological problems is to improve his personality, not to change his sexual orientation!
For minors younger than 18 years old, if he has a “homosexual sexual orientation” from a young age, then objectively speaking, he has a very high possibility of becoming a “homosexual” in the future. However, in psychological consultation, we generally do not conclude that “you are gay” for minors. Instead, tell him that your future development has “infinite possibilities”! It’s like the northerners like to eat noodles, and the southerners like to eat rice. So, what will the children in the North do when they grow up eating noodles? Some children will continue to eat noodles and refuse to eat rice; some children like to eat noodles when they are young, and when they grow up, they will start working in the South. Trying to eat rice, he might finally like the taste of rice. In the end, you like to eat noodles or rice, whatever you want! Your personal inclinations and likes and dislikes will be respected by everyone.
Here, I emphatically explain: We are not forcing a child to change his sexual orientation, but we respect and accept his same-sex sexual orientation while encouraging him to develop and broaden his life future. The goal of the consultation is how to make him grow up in happiness, and gradually get more happiness in the process of growing up, rather than changing his sexual orientation.
If it is an already formed “adult homosexual”, during counseling, psychological counseling will be conducted on some issues related to homosexual sexual orientation. Generally there are the following points:
2. Adapt to society;
3. How to tell parents about “coming out” and its stress and adaptation;
4. About “marriage” of the opposite sex;
5. Child adoption;
6. Safe sex; etc. Conclusion: Homosexuality is no longer a disease! Whether it is homosexuality or heterosexuality, this kind of love emotion is always so beautiful. Homosexuals and heterosexuals are on the same earth. I hope everyone can respect each other and live in harmony. After all, love is better than hate. Sprinkle to the world is love…