October 05, 2022

“Oedipus complex” originates from psychological lack

Do men have “Oedipus complex”? Is this kind of complex of men abnormal? Is the man’s Oedipus complex inborn? Is “Oedipus complex” derogatory? Is it disdain for men to compromise with women?

Do men have “Oedipus complex”?

Doctor: Some men have this kind of complex. I have a patient who was sent to a kindergarten full care since he was a child and then sent to a boarding school. In the age group of 3 to 13 years old, the child is most in need of maternal love, but if he doesn’t, he treats his teacher as a mother. He still visits her often now. He is a big man. He told the teacher about his frustration in life and cried like a child… He said he would not tell his mother this, let alone fall in front of his mother. Tears.

Do you think this kind of complex of men is abnormal?

Doctor: Actually, it’s not that his parents don’t love him. It’s that at the age when he needs family affection the most, he was inadvertently excluded from home. His young heart will inevitably have empathy. Men are sometimes very fragile. Husbands need not only the love of their wives, but also the maternal love of her nature. A woman is not only a wife, but sometimes also a man’s mother. There was a patient whose wife was a teenager younger than him. He could not get maternal love from her. On the contrary, she relied on him more like one of his children. He said: “I am raising two children (and his daughter) now, and I am very tired.” He wanted to find an older woman to be his friend, and confided to her the troubles and troubles encountered at work. Because he can’t tell his little wife that she doesn’t understand him. He really wants to have a girlfriend who is more mature in thought and emotion, who can listen, understand and comfort him. What he needs is precisely the emotion of motherhood. He felt distressed about this and wondered if there was a moral problem? This is not a moral problem, but the normal psychology of some men. Traditional Chinese medicine says “whatever is lacking, just make up for it”. The same goes for the lack of human psychology. There is a relationship between a young man and an old lady. The wife of this elderly lady passed away a few years ago. She may not even have a child. She has never been a mother. This man who is much younger than her is her neighbor, and it is natural to take care of her often. He may arouse her feeling of being a mother, and arouse the maternal love deep in her heart, and she will be psychologically satisfied because of this. In the eyes of others, this form of love seems weird, but it is a good thing for them, but it is invisible to ordinary people. Besides, they did not hinder us. We must understand and respect the right of others to choose a different life style from ours. Moreover, whether a person’s psychology is normal or not is an indicator of tolerance.

Is a man’s Oedipus complex born?

Doctor: It varies from person to person. In some families, women are the main role. She likes to treat her husband as a child. She is used to him. She doesn’t even let him do any housework or wash his socks. This method is well used and pretty good. Some men were bullied outside when they were children, so he would ask his mother for help. He believed that the safest harbor was the arm of the mother. Such a man has grown up and has been frustrated in society. He naturally thinks that the arms of his wife and girlfriend are his safest harbor. Because the role assigned to a man by life is too heavy, if he wants him to bear more social responsibilities, he must be strong. If he is strong, he must bear a lot of psychological pressure, and he will have fear and anxiety in his heart. However, a man’s inner “problem” cannot be casually told to outsiders. He wants to tell that the best person for help is his wife or girlfriend. A man is very masculine on the outside. In fact, his heart is very fragile. Therefore, at home, in front of his wife or girlfriend, he often spoils his heart and talks about his inner anxiety. This is a man’s help, and he wants to get women’s care for him. Like a child. Some men hope to find older women to be their wives. There is an old Chinese saying that “female juniors hold gold bricks and female seniors beat their mothers”, which has something to do with men’s psychology. In fact, the psychological maturity of the husband and wife is the driving force of the emotions of two people.

Is “Oedipus complex” derogatory? Is it disdain for men to compromise with women?

Doctor: Everything has a degree. If it is overdone, the term has a derogatory meaning. If a man really has a serious Oedipus complex, he should see a psychiatrist. I also have a patient. The young man graduated from university and he works very well. His family is in a foreign country, and he has to report everything to his mother in the foreign country. He calls home several times every week. His mother is strong at home, and his father is weak. He was afraid to make his mother angry. He is in his 30s and has no girlfriend. The first criterion for him to make a girlfriend is to consider whether his mother likes it or not. Later his mother even said to him: “My child, what you like, I like.” But he told me, “Don’t listen to her. If she gets angry, she will immediately deny her account!”

I told him that you are not mentally mature and your mental age is equivalent to 14 or 15 years old. You have to mature yourself as soon as possible. Don’t rely on others for everything. After all, you will live on your own in the future. If things go on like this, who can you rely on in the end? He later told me: “I want to call my mother again, but I think No, if I want to be independent, I won’t fight. Am I more mature?” He measured his maturity by quantifying the number of calls. This is not maturity.

What can you do for him?

Doctor: As a psychiatrist, I can only point out his weakness and let him know that this is a gap in his mental age, and it is an adult’s mistake in his judgment of life. The psychiatrist is to help his mental maturity and perfection, teach him the method of self-selection, not substitute for his decision. No psychiatrist makes decisions for patients, otherwise I would be his second mother again. In general, men’s psychological withdrawal is the conversion of psychological age and the conversion of psychological contradictions. If the psychological gap is too large and too childish, this is a psychological problem. You can go to a psychologist for consultation. Don’t form an “Oedipus complex” in the end. disease.