(1) What is homosexuality
The sexual orientation of homosexuality refers to the sexual tendencies and behaviors that target the same sex; homosexuals are individuals (men or women) whose sexual objects are homosexuals. Although the phenomenon of homosexuality exists in ancient times, the concept of homosexuality has only recently emerged. With the development of human personality development and human sexual behavior in the 19th century, people began to study the phenomenon of homosexuality and created the concept of homosexuality.
(2) Analysis of historical homosexuality
The problem of homosexuality has existed since ancient times, and it has various forms. From the perspective of all kinds of homosexuality in ancient times, the reasons and manifestations are very complicated. The homosexuality of many princes, nobles, wealthy merchants, and wealthy princes, most of them are not “love”, but a kind of they are tired of playing with the opposite sex, they go to play with the same sex; some people’s homosexuality is full of sexual perversion; and The homosexuality of most people comes from some psychological changes, folk customs and environmental influences. They are true “love”, a way of life, and this kind of feeling and way of life is not a sin. It is wrong to denounce all kinds of homosexuality in ancient times as “filthy behavior” and “perversion”. Of course, it would be wrong to affirm them all. The purpose of observing the ancients is to understand the present. We study the ancient homosexuality to show that this sexual phenomenon in society has a long historical origin, and its causes are complicated, and some causes (such as sexual oppression by the ruling class) no longer exist. However, there are no essential differences between modern and ancient for some causes, which is helpful for us to study and understand homosexuality in modern society.
(3) Analysis of the causes of homosexuality
The reasons for homosexuality are complex and diverse. According to the homosexual help seekers I have met in my long-term psychological consultation and the research on this issue, I summarized as follows:
1. Congenital genetic factors
Only a very small number of homosexuals are caused by genetic factors, that is, the composition of physiological chromosomes, which can be identified by DNA.
2. Acquired factors social, cultural and psychological factors
A. Family environment
The parents of homosexuals fail to provide their children with appropriate gender role models, so their children’s gender self-identification is incomplete. For example, close and kind mothers improperly replaced the role of fathers, opposed the rude and reckless behaviors common in boys, and encouraged more feminine activities.
In addition, the misfortune of the parents’ marriage is also an important factor. Mr. R and Mr. Q are my two helpers. Their trend towards homosexuality is closely related to the misfortune of their parents’ marriage. Mr. R is a very capable and beautiful girl. Her parents quarreled every day and often used her to vent her anger. R had a sense of insecurity towards her family since she was a child. He hated boys and was afraid of going into marriage. Once, a boy harassed her and was Protected by the female classmate, she fell in love with that girl and felt very happy to be with her. Mr. Q is a boy. His parents divorced since he was a child. He grew up with his father. His father’s way of education was rude. Every day he “taught” the women of the world are untrustworthy. They are all liars, making them cowardly, fearful of women, and seeking strong men. protection of.
B. Early sexual experience
Early sexual experience, especially the first sexual experience, has extraordinary significance. If you look at the chronological order of personal character development history, the influence of the childhood environment is of course the first, and the experience of adolescence is the latter; but compared with the two, the latter has no lesser role in the formation of homosexuality than the former; in many cases The influence of middle school is even stronger than that of childhood family environment.
Among the acquired social and psychological factors in the formation of homosexuality, the most important is the initial sexual experience, that is, the encounter and experience of adolescence (sexual hazy period). Most homosexuals take this path around puberty, some are 13 or 4 years old, some are 17 or 18, and some are in their early twenties.
Once entering puberty, people have the physical and psychological requirements for sexual venting. However, in the Chinese social environment, strictly speaking, apart from the form of marriage, any form of sexual venting is prohibited by laws or social codes of conduct and social ethics.
In a nutshell, there are three types of channels for sexual venting: The first type is masturbation or nocturnal emission. Although there is no law prohibiting masturbation, the general social code of conduct believes that masturbation is not a good thing, and there are various sayings that masturbation is harmful to physical and mental health, although the proportion of people who have experienced masturbation in the entire population is not low; Of course it cannot be forbidden, but many parents do not know how to explain to boys when they have nocturnal emission. If parents find girls masturbating, it is even more unacceptable. As a result, they are left in a kind of clear and dark confusion.
The second type of outlet is the sexual relationship between the opposite sex. This relationship is first restricted by the law-you cannot get married before the legal age; secondly, it is restricted by the social ethics-our society’s tolerance for heterosexual sex before marriage is quite low. From this we can understand what kind of environment and moral atmosphere adolescents face. These teenagers are faced with the dilemma that the physiological maturity period has arrived, the legal marriage age has not arrived, and the social ethics strictly prohibits them from seeking sexual vents from the opposite sex.
As a result, many teenagers turned to the third type of sexual venting channel-homosexual behavior. Moreover, there are great opportunities for close contact between the same sex, and generally it is not easily suspected.
“The first sexual experience is extremely important. If it happens between friends of the same sex, it may be homosexual for life.” Since the first sexual experience is important and impressive, it is difficult for the person involved to associate sexual pleasure with the same-sex object. Separate the two, especially when this experience happened in early life. When the incident occurs, the younger the person involved, the less able to judge life experience comprehensively, and the less conditions for comparing multiple experiences, the easier it is to form a fixed view of the relationship between something and other things, just like sex. Like the relationship between pleasure and same-sex objects.
A gay help seeker talked about the formation of his sexual orientation and talked about pursuing girls in middle school. It should be said that there has been a certain popularity in sexual role identification, but then he had a homosexual experience by chance. Although he repeatedly restrained himself, it was still difficult to work. After suppressing myself for four or five years, I still “have been longing for” psychologically, and finally started the gay lifestyle again.
“A person has begun sexual maturity at the age of thirteen or four, and has produced the requirements for sexual pursuit and sexual venting. However, marriage stipulates that the age of heterosexual union must be more than twenty years old. The gap of more than ten years makes human sexual hunger and thirst difficult to satisfy. Confusion occurs. During this period, the contact of the opposite sex will be criticized by the society and family, and the opportunity for same-sex contact exists at any time. Once the sexual satisfaction occurs between the two, it will be deeply attracted and affect life. A person’s first understanding in the process of maturity People (Mom, Dad) are the most intimate; the words learned at the beginning will not be forgotten (such as the dialects learned in childhood), and the meals they are used to at the beginning will be nostalgic for a lifetime…So what about the first sexual experience? If a person’s first sexual partner is of the same sex, this kind of habit formation law cannot be said to be a physiological abnormality.
The theory that emphasizes the importance of first sexual experience is called “empty occupation” theory. This theory holds that although the relationship between sexual behavior and sexual role identification is close, they are two different things after all. After people have identified with a certain gender role, their sexual behavior remains blank for a period of time. Once a certain way of sexual behavior first occupies this blank, it is likely to be fixed and form a lifelong sexual orientation. And this selected sexual behavior is not necessarily related to gender role identification, that is to say, those men whose sexual behaviors target the same sex do not necessarily identify with female roles; those who fully identify with male roles psychologically and physically Of men do not necessarily fix their sexual behavior to the vulva-canal-sex intercourse between the opposite sex
C. Serious setbacks in heterosexuality
If a person is frustrated in interacting with the opposite sex, has unpleasant experiences, and the heterosexual relationship cannot develop normally, while being induced by the same sex at the same time, homosexuality will occur.
D. Oedipus complex
This concept is taken from the meaning of Oedipus killing his father and her mother in Greek mythology.
Here is what some homosexuals say: “My mother died when I was 5 years old, and my father often beat and scolded me. I was young and didn’t know how to resist. I started to resist my father when I had an idea. I think I am here. The road is related to lack of maternal love.”
“My mother is a kind woman, always bullied by my uncles. My personality is like a mother. I dislike my father. He is irresponsible to us. I often wonder why he didn’t love us, why he gave birth to us in the first place.”
E. Sex education is ignored
To a large extent, homosexuality is a series of psychology and behavior involving both sexes that appear with the sexual development of adolescence, and parents often “talk about sex change”, let alone give their children sex education. Children can only “self-taught” through their own personal experience and the Internet and other media.
Consultation thoughts written by a gay girl after the consultation: Now I feel that I am quite naive, and I don’t know what love is at all. I just feel that I rely on her and exceed the trust in others, and I am more curious. Since I am used to the days with her, I will feel uncomfortable. Now I feel a lot calmer. I have not really understood boys with my heart. I just judge a boy with my imagination and the narration of friends!
F. Special sexual experiences, partnerships, accidental opportunities
Partnerships, occasional opportunities, and special sexual experiences, such as being tempted by homosexuals or sexual violence in childhood.
(4) About homosexual treatment
Homosexuality is not a sickness, it is just a lifestyle choice. We cannot think that homosexual lifestyle is sick just because most people choose a heterosexual lifestyle. Everyone has a variety of ways of living, and the subculture of homosexuality should be treated in the same way. I personally believe that everyone has independent freedom of sexual orientation, as long as the individual feels happy, does not violate the law, does not commit a crime, and does not interfere with the normal life of others, and it should be understood and respected by the society.
Individuals have the freedom to choose one way of life, as well as the freedom not to choose. For homosexuals that are not caused by genetic factors, if they feel pain in life and actively seek treatment, they can be adjusted by psychological counseling, but Psychological counseling adjustment cannot be based on returning to the opposite sex orientation as the primary goal. Instead, the primary goal should be to enable the seeker to obtain a better and higher quality of life. Through psychological counseling and adjustment, the seeker has a more comprehensive three-dimensional and clear understanding of themselves. Under the premise of this comprehensive cognition, the seeker chooses an optimal choice that is conducive to the improvement of personal quality of life.