Since I was young, I have misunderstood and prejudiced sex. At night, I often dreamed about the failure of sexual intercourse. I asked my reproductive doctor and said that it was psychologically nervous and the problem was not serious, but I didn’t dare to find a girlfriend at all.
First of all, from the description, you can feel that you are drawing yourself a cage. The bad memories of your childhood are intertwined with your own relatively inferior character, which binds you firmly and cannot break free.
But in fact, you drew this cage yourself. As long as you overcome it, you can get out of it by yourself.
Let’s first talk about the things that happened when we were young. There were a lot of jokes when we were young, after all, children are still not sensible. Take off the female playmate’s trousers, and then pee on her trousers. At the age of a child, these things can only show that you are more naughty, but you have a sense of guilt and fear about sex. Fear of being scolded by relatives, friends or teachers.
In fact, is it possible that what left a shadow on you back then was not sex, but worried about the ridicule from your companions and the scolding from your family.
Then there is the problem of Oedipus complex. From your description, it seems that because of the long-term lack of mother’s company, you become insecure, which further strengthens your attachment to your mother. Moreover, the age of boarding coincides with adolescence, and sexual enlightenment has just begun to sprout. The mixing of these two things makes you fear and guilt about sex.
But you don’t have to be like that. I believe you have also understood Freud’s theory of Oedipus complex. Most people have Oedipus complex to some extent. This is not the reason why you regard sex as a scourge. I think it was caused by your excessive repression of sex during adolescence.
I hope you can reasonably face your sexual desire and establish a reasonable concept of sex.
As for low self-esteem, this is a character problem, and for you, it has been basically overcome, and getting along with the opposite sex has become natural. So for you, the biggest problem right now may be your fear of sexual failure;
In fact, in my opinion, sex is a kind of ability. Since it is ability, there must be a way to improve it. Take premature ejaculation as an example, it is not impossible to solve it. On the one hand, it is the body and the other is the mind. If the coordination is good, at least it will be improved.
And it seems that you haven’t tried it, and seem to be afraid of the first step, so why not try it. Finding a girl who likes each other and solving with each other is better than staying in place alone, isn’t it?
Sexual anxiety can’t be resolved without you reconstructing a scientifically correct concept of sex. The lack of sex education is cultural negligence, but now is the time to change!
Step 1: Identify your sexual misunderstanding
The first thing, when I was a child, I once took off my female playmate’s pants. At that time, she was really young. It was just a natural instinct. There was no physical contact. As a result, she urinated on her pants and then she ran. While talking about telling the adults.
Childhood is divided into oral lip period, anal period, sexual organ period, etc. At this time, you will be curious about the difference between your own sexual organs and those of others, so you take off her pants and pee to prove your “masterpiece”. Understandably, there is no need to blame yourself.
The second thing is that you stayed with relatives for five or six years when you were a child. You feel insecure and miss your mother. This miss and anxiety about sex are often mixed to form another kind of “Oedipus complex”, which adds to your pain. It took me about ten years to clarify this confusion.
Missing a mother is a yearning for family affiliation, and the Oedipus complex and the Oedipus complex. In layman’s terms, it refers to a person’s psychological tendency to like the feeling of being with his mother.
Oedipus complex is not love, but mostly arises from an appreciation and admiration for the mother. It is a common social phenomenon, boys and girls may have Oedipus complex.
Third, for various reasons, you are an extremely low self-esteem person. From elementary school to university, it feels unnatural to be with girls. A feeling of inferiority ranging from psychological to physical envelopes you, just like a smog. More than twenty years;
The anxiety and fear of sex have been basically overcome in peacetime, getting along with the opposite sex naturally, and thinking freely. At night, especially in my sleep, I often dream about the plot of sexual intercourse failure, especially premature ejaculation. It is often the beginning of ejaculation, and then it is accompanied by wet dreams.
Dreaming of “failure in sexual intercourse” means that you have no confidence in your own sexual abilities, and do not know your past emotional history or history of sexual intercourse. If you have failed in intercourse in the past, I hope you can refresh yourself, practice more, and look forward.
If you have never had sex before, you can try to contact and socialize with girls, don’t be afraid, sex is a beautiful natural response that is conducive to the development of physical and mental health.